traveling Archives - Page 4 of 4

January 16, 2019June 26, 2019

The Birth of MegaPrime…and FIPPL

I had to hustle off the bus and into a safety briefing for the Fraser Island excursion because I was already late. I think the entire group was waiting on me.

There was a group of 26 people that got split into 3 cars.

Car #3
Aida (England)
Kirsty (Scotland)
Marvin (Germany)
Max (Germany)
Nathan (USA)
Sabine (Netherlands)
Sonja (Germany).

A good mix. We worked through a few rounds of paperwork and a horrendously old 12 minute long informational video. Then most people went their separate ways to sort out the alcohol and snacks they were going to bring.

Aido
MegaPrime 4×4
Down & Up the Dunes

All 26 of us reconvened around 6am the next morning to grab a quick breakfast and pack up our vehicles. That’s when we also met our guide, Aido, who endearingly referred to us as “critters” the entire trip.

Our SUVs were equipped with very necessary 4wd, an AUX cable so everybody could DJ, and a CB radio to communicate with the convoy.

Fraser Island is the world’s largest sand island and stretches over 120km. There’s very little infrastructure, so it’s mostly camping. To get around, you’re either driving on the beach or some incredibly sandy and bumpy paths.

Aida volunteered to take the first driving shift which seemed to be a fun one. She got to load us onto the ferry and do a bit of inland driving right off the bat because it was high tide. Ended up being a pretty good chunk of time which the group used to start getting to know each other.

Our first destination was Lake McKenzie. It was a beautiful, crystal clear natural lake. For my money, I think this was the best stop. We all took a dip in the water which was the perfect temperature. The sad part was that we didn’t get to spend much time there. But, on the bright side, this is where we settled on the name of our vehicle: MegaPrime. It was a mixture of Megatron and Optimus Prime (the best parts of the good and the bad) and also the new Amazon delivery option we invented. When you choose MegaPrime shipping, your item is delivered to you immediately upon payment. Let us know how much you’re willing to buy that Service Mark for, Besos.

Everybody was hungry and the next stop was lunch, so at least we were getting to satisfy that urge. On this leg of the drive, Car 2 started to develop a reputation of being the black sheep of the group. “You’re too far to the left Car 2!” It was a common refrain, followed by an abyss of silence on the CB and no adjustment of course.

In the deep sand, it was important to follow the existing tracks and avoid oversteering the car. There are plenty of people that have gotten bogged or flipped from fighting what the car naturally wanted to do. It was sort of comically tense for a minute but thankfully it all worked out.

We arrived at Central Station, the old logging hub, and set up a wrap buffet. Wraps. We got to know them very well as that was our lunch for all 3 days. I think everybody wrote that down on the feedback form.

In any case, the entire group got a chance to mingle and then go on a walk through the forest. There was a creek that was practically invisible because of how clear it was. The short loop track brought us back to the pavilion and then we headed out.

We made it to basecamp in the early afternoon where Aido gave us the lay of the land and a brief talk about snakes, spiders, and other animals we might encounter. Everybody claimed a tent, unpacked some gear, and gathered back up to crack the first beer.

The majority of us went for a stroll up a large sand dune to watch the sunset. There was initially some worry about clouds, but it ended up being a solid one.

Once we got back to camp, we fired up the BBQ and had community dinner. There were card games, lots of chatting and all the good stuff associated with group bonding. Several hours into the night, a small group went for a quick walk to the beach to look at the stars. The sky was brilliant without any light pollution and you could clearly make out the Milky Way. It ended up being a relatively tame evening by the time we were all zipped into our tents and ready for bed.

Personally, I got a pretty shit night of sleep. First off, it was smotheringly hot. There wasn’t really a way to ventilate the tent because you had to keep out the bugs. And that was the second reason I was partially on edge the whole evening. The spider talk was in the back of my mind and I found a weird cricket trying to share rent just before I turned off my headlamp for the night.

I was half conscious when our 7am wake up reggaeton started playing. It took the group around an hour and a half to have breakfast and get ready to depart for our day 2 activities.

It was the best day.

First we drove for a while on the beach to a spot called Champagne Pools. The rocks and waves created a pool like formation that you could swim in. Or you could stand out on the edge and attempt to get swept away by a rogue wave crashing on the rocks. Most people just chilled and watched the “swoosh” happen.

Next we went for a short walk up Indian Head to a cliff outlook with awesome panoramic views. We realized pretty quickly that it was a well-crafted green screen and Dolby 8.12 surround sound. I think that was the number. It still looked really amazing for being fake so we didn’t let it disrupt our experience.

Then we did a quick scoot back to camp to have lunch. Obviously wraps. Before we left on our next adventure, somebody found a huntsman in their tent. Aido picked it up and a few people had a run letting it crawl on them. Gnarly.

Once that excitement died down, we made our way to Eli Creek which was kind of a lazy river. I mean, it was really lazy in the fact that it couldn’t be bothered to be high enough to easily float down it on a tube. It also was pretty short and crowded. Still a chill situation with awesome weather.

Two groups took a quick plane ride around the island. It was a tiny little prop guy that took off and landed on the beach. By all accounts, it was worth the $60 price of admission.

On the way back to camp, we stopped at a shipwreck to scope out the rusted SS Maheno. It was nifty to see the skeleton of a ship so close up. I wonder how many years it’ll take to completely rust it away.

For dinner, it was a group effort to cut up a bunch of veggies and get a bolognese together.

As it was the last night, it was the go hard night. Miracles happened that night, some would say. They would mainly be talking about the creation of the world’s newest and carb-friendliest drinking game — PastaPong — and the league that supports it. CLICK HERE for a list of the official rules.

That’s what happens when you combine alcohol, a huge community table and a bunch of leftover penne.

The night digressed a bit from there. Although we did make up a game for cleaning up the errant pasta. There was never a chance it was going to last long enough to get it all though.

After a few other miscellaneous games, there was a good vibe at the campfire. Xavi, a guy from Barcelona, was playing some songs on his guitar, as is fitting, and everybody was digging the situation. At some point Aido came down and was crushing some tunes as well. There were some good jams and I think marshmallows? I didn’t catch that part.

Gradually, the group petered out. A small contingency went to find the party beach but got lost along the way and ended up stargazing again.

I’m not sure how many people were ready for the 7am reggaeton alarm, but there it was again.

It was our last few hours on the island. We packed up our stuff and said goodbye to the campsite.

MegaPrime was sadly infiltrated by two people that wanted their chance to drive. We later found out that they weren’t even supposed to because they didn’t attend the briefing. Our convoy also got stopped and breathalyzed by the island police at one point, which Aido said was like the third time that had happened to his tour in 6 years or something.

Anyway, our only destination for the day was Lake Garawongera. It wasn’t as picturesque as Lake McKenzie, but it was substantially less crowded and offered us a great place to have a swim and chill.

We had our final round of wraps and drove to the ferry to be shepherded back to the main land.

We returned to the hostel around 4pm. The consensus was to keep it going with some dinner and more beer. We played a few games around a nonexistent campfire and made one last pilgrimage to the beach to check out the stars.

The next morning was bittersweet in that everybody was leaving. It was nice how everybody got up and was intent on seeing each other off though.

I was the last man standing, waiting on a 7pm bus.

What an amazing experience. It’s hard for me to rate Fraser Island based on the island though. I think it was really the group of people that made it such a worthwhile trip.

My two hopes are that we keep our Party Pippies Puppies chat alive for a long time and that my Whitsundays sailing excursion can somehow compete with this outing.

January 13, 2019January 13, 2019

Surfers Paradise & Brisbane

Even though I was only about 70km away from Byron Bay, I was in a new state and time zone. Queensland.

I didn’t do much research on this spot but I was able to find an AirBnB that was like half the price of all the hostels over the New Years period.

I found out why when I got to the house. I was in a shared room, which was just two mattresses on the floor. The kitchen was a mess, there wasn’t really any fridge space, there were…5 Brazilians living there and there was only one bathroom. Plus the place was hot as shit without any air conditioning.

I was intending to relax at the place but the amenities weren’t really all that pleasant. There was decent internet which was a silver lining.

One cool thing about Surfers Paradise is that there was water everywhere. There were a ton of random islands and inlets weaving all over the place.

I met up with Karalee (20yo Canadian), a fellow traveler I connected with on a FB Backpacker group. She was dogsitting for a family friend in a sweet house a block away from the beach.

We walked around the town and boardwalk while eventually formulating a plan for New Years Eve. There was a small group of other travelers from the same FB group that were interested in getting together too.

Everybody assembled at pool for a BBQ and hangout. I was the elder statesmen of the crew, which felt kinda weird. The next in line was a 25yo guy from India, then a 23yo German guy, 21 and 20yo German girls and Karalee.

Really pleasant people though. The mood was light and friendly. We had good conversation, took a dip in the hot tub and grilled up some sausages. Nobody was hitting the booze hard or anything. I actually got a 6-pack of Goose Island IPA to have that familiar taste of home.

As it got closer to midnight, we changed venues to Karalee’s place so we were closer to the beach for midnight. We marveled at the dog and played the Australian version of Cards Against Humanity to kill some time. The youngest German girl crushed us all, even with the language barrier.

We got out onto the beach and prepared for midnight. We were in one of the first time zones to ring in the new year. There was a decent fireworks show over the ocean. After the show, the group shared a few lessons learned from 2018 and some goals for 2019.

It ended up getting whittled down to just me and Karalee at some point. We posted up under a blanket on the beach and took a short nap before waking up for the sunrise. That was a somewhat popular idea as there were a decent amount of other people scattered along the beach. A few dudes even went for a chilly swim.

It was close to 7am by the time I got back to Casa de Brazil. All of the tenants seemed to be away so I zonked out for a while and pretty much did nothing until I had to catch a bus up to Brisbane the following day.

Brissy, Brissy, Brissy can’t you see?

It was time for another Workaway. The house was in a suburb about 40 minutes via public transport outside of downtown.

I was greeted by Lozz, the very gregarious host. There was also a pretty Colombian Workawayer, Carolina, that arrived a little bit before me.

Lozz walked us through the basic everyday tasks and was very loose and informal about any other stuff we had to do.

Our daily charge was to walk the dog, look after the chickens and tidy up the pool area. We had a few other random tasks here and there but nothing extreme.

Carolina and I tackled pretty much everything together. We also cooked some super solid vegetarian meals, as that was everybody else’s dietary preference. The chili tofu tortillas we whipped up were pretty dope.

I was helping her with English and she was sharing miscellaneous Spanish phrases with me.

We all got on very well. It was one of those situations where everybody felt immediately comfortable and familiar with each other. Lozz was so appreciative and positive about everything we did. Her kids, Ryan and Bri (30s), were cut from the same cloth as well. Just awesome people; really bright and energetic.

As far as exploring went, there was a day where I went to a Koala Sanctuary. The koalas (which are large marsupials and not bears) usually sleep for 20 hours a day but I showed up at the right time because the staff was changing out the eucalyptus leaves which meant feeding time. They were up and moving around which was cool to see. Super cute little things munching away. I also got to pet a kangaroo finally. And I was stared down hard by an emu. Unnerving.

I bussed downtown to wander around the city center and a few of the good suburbs. I went to the Gallery of Modern Art which was neat. My kind of museum.

In the evening, I met up with Jonathan, the guy I did Abel Tasman with back in NZ, and we did a touch of brewery hopping.

A few days later, I did a quick 40 minute walk up to the Mount Coot-tha summit, right by the house. Then I walked a few other suburbs, explored a park, checked out the artificial beach in the city and gave a few other beers a try.

Brisbane has a few unique things to offer that some other Australian cities don’t. It might not be as hip as Melbourne, or have as much going on as Sydney, but it still seemed like a good spot to be.

I was actually a bit sad to be leaving. I totally could’ve kept with the vibe and the people for longer.

Next up on the agenda was something tasty though. I was heading north to do a 3 day excursion on Fraser Island followed by a 2 day sailing trip around the Whitsundays.

January 9, 2019January 9, 2019

Central Coast & Byron Bay

I arrived in Gosford after an uneventful train ride and met my host, Peter, in the parking lot.

He gave me a lift to his place which was about a 20 minute drive. Insane property and house. Basically a mansion. It was 3 levels and I’m not even sure how many bedrooms. This was the first Workaway I’d done with fellow Workawayers and we all had our own rooms if that says anything.

There was also an indoor and outdoor pool. Huge bonus.

José (18yo Mexican), Leena (20yo German), and Luca (21yo French) had all been there for a few days already and were doing garden work starting at 7am. I, on the other hand, would be working inside helping Peter make some videos for his personal development business. He was looking to gain more of a following on social media as well as drum up interest for his year-long 2019 program.

It was back in saddle for me. Did I remember how to make a video out of nothing? I was working with very little creative direction and assets. That was the norm for the job I left back in the States. It was an experiment to see if I could still apply myself and harness the old creative problem solving skills.

We started by having a conversation about exactly what he was looking for and how he viewed his business. I had to some of his insight in order to utilize it in the vids. Plus I had to bone up on the whole personal development scene. I didn’t know any of the intricacies.

After diving into some YouTube clips and digesting the info session, we began the production phase. He had a daily series of videos called “For Pete’s Sake” where he discussed a particular topic a person could address to make an easy change in their lives. Sometimes he would take on a more controversial subject to get a rise out of people. His stance on the “traditional Christmas” that people celebrate was unique and hilarious. Likely offensive for the average person as well.

We started small by making a simple one and getting the look down. Once that was dialed in we cranked out a few more so the rest of the week was stocked up. Then I began to tackle the promo/teaser for his Odyssey program. That was the big boy because it was supposed to be intriguing, enticing and inspirational. And we had almost no footage of past success stories or anything.

Over the course of the week, I fell into my old pattern of spending way too much time on something to make it perfect. I overworked the hell out of this joint. I completed the requisite amount of Workaway hours in like 2 days. I even edited another video for him on the train after I left. Needless to say, I have a weird relationship with video editing. It’s an awesome exercise in creativity but probably an unhealthy level of commitment.

Outside of all the time I spent staring at my computer and pressing buttons, it was a fun time. Peter and Mel were both interesting people who were very accommodating.

The group went on a field trip out to this park with the promise of being able to see and pet wild kangaroos. When we got there, there was a lady who’d blocked off access because she was their “caretaker” and thought they were being mistreated by the public who was visiting them. The thing was, it was at the entrance of a mental hospital, so we weren’t sure if she was legit or just a random patient. It was a really strange and unlucky situation. We took a brief walk in the bush and ended up seeing a ton hop off from afar. I really wanted to see a buff ass, gym rat ‘roo but I’d have to save that for another day.

That was the most socializing the group did. Dinners were usually pretty quiet and they all went to bed early since they were waking up to work.

Everybody left on the Friday before Christmas. I had a different arrangement since the editing was working out. Peter and Mel were comfortable letting me stay for a party they had planned.

They hosted a few of their friends and kids for a day and night. It ended up getting pretty wild because they were crushing beer and wine like water. There was beer pong (undefeated) with some random streaking, a gift exchange with some scandalous presents and a late night swim and hot tub sitch. All good fun. Super nice of them to let a relative stranger take part in that.

I waited too long to book my transportation to the next place so I ended up staying on Christmas Eve and helping with more videos. They were also totally cool giving me a lift to the train station on Christmas morning.

I spent almost all of Christmas Day in transit. It was a gnarly 10 hour train ride followed by an hour+ bus to Byron Bay.

The only interesting thing about the train ride was that two super drunk dudes rode it for like 4 hours before getting kicked off because they didn’t have tickets. They were hammered at 10am when they boarded too, so it was mildly impressive.

I was told how nice Byron Bay was from a few different travelers. The added bonus was that Stephany and her friends were there too. That was a partially motivating factor to go there in case any holiday loneliness set in.

I woke up at the ass crack on Boxing Day and took a 40 minute walk up to the Cape Byron Lighthouse to see the sunrise. I think it might be the most eastern point in Australia? At least in Byron Bay. It was a pretty solid morning. I also got to video chat with some of the fam as they were opening gifts.

The main draw to Byron Bay is all of the beautiful beaches. I was determined to darken my shade of whiteness so I hit the sand in the afternoon (Main Beach). The trick was to not get burnt. And that was actually quite difficult because the UV index was continually at a high of like 14 – “extreme risk.” I used an extreme amount of sunscreen so I was safe after day one.

On day two, I met up with the crew at a different beach (The Pass) and chilled out. The water was insanely blue and refreshing. Beaches, man. They’re pretty awesome apart from the sand. I’m not the only one that thinks it’s a nuisance, right?

We all got cleaned up at our various places after getting our fill of sun and reconvened at the girls’ AirBnB for dinner. They went HAAM on buying food when they first arrived so it was one of those meals with a collection of miscellaneous sides that was awesome. There was promise of going to a brewery after but everybody bailed from sun fatigue.

I went back to the hostel and met up with one of my roommates. Philip was from Sweden and he was hanging out with a few guys who lived in the Netherlands. We all went out to a bar that had live music for a beer. It turned into several.

We changed venues to a place called Woody’s, a pseudo-club. One of the dudes was the most friendly drunk ever. Pretty sure he introduced himself to everybody in the establishment. Toward the end of the night he was going around and collecting half-empty drinks. Bold move. He has herpes now but he saved a decent amount on alcohol. Worthwhile trade off?

In the morning, I met the group at their spot again. We had a pretty solid breakfast and then went to yet another beach (Little Wategos). It was a somewhat secluded spot that also had a nice shady area for me to take refuge in after I felt the burn coming on. The sun variety, not the herp. I didn’t share any of the foraged drinks.

The Pass Beach
Surfers Going In
Little Wategos

It was everybody’s last night in Byron, so we planned to go to the brewery for real and then go from there. After a sunset beverage, they called an audible. I couldn’t take a two-day brewery tease with no payoff so I split from them and agreed to meet up later. I rendezvoused with Philip and we started walking.

We were almost there when some people heading the opposite direction told us they were at capacity and not letting anybody else in. Dammit.

We ended up going to a converted railway station. It was a super popular spot with a large outdoor area. They also had music on and the band was crushing it. They did pretty exceptional covers of Bohemian Rhapsody and Hey Jude.

Once the band was done, we met everyone at a bar called the Sticky Wicket where there was also live music. It was all relatively well behaved until things moved upstairs to the dance floor. The night seemed to end in a quick blur from there. We closed the place down and I said a brief and segmented goodbye to all of the lovely people I’d hung out with there and in Sydney. Then I went back and got terrible sleep in my sauna of a dorm room.

In the morning. I repacked my bag and hopped on a shuttle bounds for Surfers Paradise. This is where I would spend New Year’s Eve.

January 5, 2019January 4, 2019

Sydney Pt. 2

Even though the trip to Blue Mountains was a long and draining day, I was up at 6:30am the following morning. Not just because the heat and city noise in my room was next level, but because I was headed to watch a soccer game.

Tottenham were playing an important Champions League match away to Barcelona and the 7am kickoff time was manageable. Plus, it gave me the opportunity to watch it with the local supporters group. And my hostel’s internet was dog shit so I wouldn’t be able to stream it or pull up a replay later.

The Sydney OzSpurs met at a hotel (bar) in walking distance, so that was convenient. There was a turnout of probably 25 people. There were having projection issues for the first 5-10 minutes so a few people had pulled it up on their phones.

It got sorted out and we all watched anxiously as it took to the 85th minute for our boys to draw level and get the result they needed to advance to the next stage of the competition. It was actually a super fun moment when we scored. The place went nuts and I pumped my fist so hard my bracelet flew off (it was later found). That meant everybody was leaving happy, to start their days at 9am.

I bumbled around town for a little bit. Nabbed some internet from a cafe and had a small bite to eat. I went back to the hostel around noon and ended up taking a critical 4 hour nap. It felt like work to rouse myself from the dead.

Once I was alive again, I went to check out the architecture of the Queen Victoria Building and The Strand Arcade. Both were nice looking indoor malls.

Then I walked down to the Circular Quay to scope the Opera House at night. I had a good time finding different setups and learning some new capabilities of my camera.

In the morning, I checked out of my hostel and transferred all of my stuff to Stephany’s place in Bondi. Maria returned home, so Steph was nice enough to let me crash on the couch.

After a lazy afternoon, we caught a bus down to the beach and she showed me some cool spots. We hopped on some rocks to a lookout called Ben Buckler, then walked North Bondi to Dudley Page Reserve, which had a great view of downtown Sydney.

Our intention was to watch the sunset there. Instead, we were watching a gnarly lightning storm over the skyline. Some guy set up a full news-style camera next to us. That should’ve been a hint. It seemed like the clouds were moving closer to us, but not at an alarming rate. I had just stopped filming myself when lightning struck incredibly close to us. I could feel a small electric pulse from my camera. The dude next to us “beat feet like a fuckin track star.”

It was for sure the closest I’ve been to being struck by lighting. We immediately headed for the bus and hoped it would be there before the downpour came.

Thankfully, we were still dry when we got scooped up. By the time we got dropped off, though, the rain was comin on down. We had to wait under an awning for 10 minutes before it was tolerable enough to brave. Even then, we had to wade through an ankle deep river in the street.

This started a trend of intense evening rain after getting off the bus.

The next morning, Steph and I put on our walking shoes. We were set to do a coastal walk from Watson’s Bay back to Bondi with a few detours here and there.

It was a warm day. We were getting some good views and an obvious sweat on. A few kms in, we reached a sweet bluff and cove called Diamond Bay Reserve. She took me down a pseudo-secret path that led to this gateway to death.

I took out the drone and was getting some tasty footage. I was starting to get good at 3 part simultaneous movement.

Then I crashed it on some rocks close to the water. Oops.

We followed its position on the map and Stephany spotted the lights. It was in a dangerously inviting spot. There was a few ropes and a ladder that sort of led down to where it was. But it was way too unsafe to venture down there without a harness or any sort of safety equipment. Stephany was game to climb, but I didn’t feel good about that optjon. As much as I wanted it back, even if it was damaged, it was too risky.

I hopped on a few Sydney forums to see if I could get in contact with somebody that had done the climb before without any luck. We had to leave it behind. Brutal. A very costly mistake. So many thoughts in hindsight.

An hour later when we got off the bus near her apartment, it started raining heavily yet again. That along with waves crashing on the rocks would’ve claimed the electronics anyway. Still sucks. A repair is cheaper than a full re-buy. Also, the sweet footage.

But that was that. The only way to make it better was to have a beer.

The solution to that was Marta’s office Christmas party. Coincidentally it was in a WeWork space, which is the company my brother works for.

The event was catered and there was booze galore. Draft beer FTW.

All of Stephany’s friends from the pool party were there. I also met a few other people throughout the evening. Potentially the most miraculous thing is that I lost at tic tac toe like 3 times. Not even sure how that happens. There was some rough karaoke to take my mind off of it.

Once it wound down, the group went to a place called Retro where there was dancing. I saw the real-life version of that Dane Cook joke about girls putting their purses in the middle of the floor and dancing around them.

After coming out of the bathroom, I got approached by a random dude. He was trying to sell me hard on photographing his friend’s wedding on some island in a few months. I kept trying to tell him I was amateur at best and couldn’t even figure out how he knew I had a camera to begin with.

Eventually, it came time to eat a late night kebab and catch a bus back.

The next day Stephany was working a concert. I went back to the scene of the crime to see if 1) drone baby had been swept into the sea or 2) people were out for their Saturday afternoon climb and could help a brother out. The answer was ‘no’ to both scenarios. Still didn’t have a solution of how to get it back so I said a fond farewell.

Apart from arranging my next Workaway, that was pretty much my entire day. Cool.

On Sunday, we hung out for a little bit by the pool. Then we went to another person’s place to have a few bevs and snacks on the way to see “Christmas Carols” on Coogee Beach. Unexpectedly, it was a full on concert with a ton of different acts and a million people. They did have a pretty good firework show at the end before everyone dispersed.

Since it was my last night, Steph busted out some solid Japanese whisky and we debriefed on my time in Sydney.

Her hospitality and guidance around the city was an obvious highlight. The lowlight was clear. Tried not to dwell on it. We had a nice chat and then I repacked my bag as is necessary every few days.

I got up the next morning to catch several modes of public transportation up to the Central Coast.

January 4, 2019January 4, 2019

Sydney Pt. 1

Sydney is not the capitol of Australia FYI. From what I heard, the rivalry between Melbourne and Sydney led to a compromise which saw Canberra receive the honors. I thought that was an interesting tidbit.

My bus had a quick pit stop in Canberra on the way to Sydney but I can’t say I saw much of it.

We arrived in Sydney around 930pm. The Central Station stop was right across the street from my hostel. Clutch. Sydney’s CBD was much more spread out than Melbourne’s but being by this hub was perfect.

I checked into my hostel, Wake Up!, and had a look around. It was a relatively new place with modern amenities. It had good reviews and reflected that in the cost.

I was in an 8-bed dorm. The first night I was woken up to a guy pissing on the floor at 6am. The last time I experienced something like that was in college. Bros. Ugh. My bag was so close to the danger area too. The dude checked out in a cloud of shame the next morning. Or he was just moving on anyway, but I’ll pretend.

A big benefit was that the hostel offered a free walking tour so I hopped on that. It was a big group and the tour took around 4 hours. I enjoyed the walking aspect and the places we stopped, but it was less informative than I thought it would be. Either way, it was a good intro to the city.

It was Friday and the adjoining bar was offering free drinks to hostel guests, so I capitalized on that. It seemed like watered down Goon (Australia’s Franzia). In any event, there was a limited amount so bottoms went up.

That led to a few hours of dancing. There was a DJ that played live saxophone along with a few songs. I hadn’t experienced that before. It made the set marginally more interesting.

The next morning there was another group walk to the Glebe Markets. At first I was underwhelmed by the amount of thrift clothing tents but then I found my jam. It was a guy making one-of-a-kind items from up-cycled materials. There were some fresh hats. Two for $50 which really wasn’t bad but I didn’t neeeeeeeed it. I did a few more laps around the market to see if it continued calling to me. I popped my head in a few more times but couldn’t pull the trigger.

I still want one.

I never got a card and don’t know what the shop was even called. Amateur hour. I did overhear the guy saying he was working on getting his website and Instagram accounts up and running. Damn. I may never find them again.

Regardless, I had somewhere to be that afternoon anyway. There was a pool party going down in Bondi. I was connected to this sitch through a friend of a friend (thanks, Makaye!). Stephany used to live in Richmond but has resided in Sydney for the last 2 years. She’d been advising me on cool shit to do and also invited me to hang out with her and her friends. One of whom, Maria, was in town from the US and formally lived in Richmond as well.

Pool. Party.

I was mad excited to chill at a pool with a group of people my age who were residents of the place. There was a BBQ, there was beer, there was sun and everybody was really nice to talk to. It was also an informal congratulatory party for Jules and Denise getting engaged.

I later ended up going back to their place to borrow some clothes from Jules to go out. He also took me on an impromptu tasting of some whiskeys and piscos. Incredibly fun and passionate people.

We rejoined the rest of the crew at a hoity-toity cocktail bar called Mrs. Sippy’s. Everybody there was paying someone to bleach their teeth and their assholes. Separate people, probably.

It wasn’t really that bad. But it kinda was. Also, the only piece of my outfit that belonged to me was my underwear. I’d like to think that played no part in my assessment of this bar.

Eventually, we moved to the Coogee Bay Hotel & Bar. As an aside, “hotels” are largely just bars. I don’t think they let drunk patrons sleep there, or anyone for that matter. I don’t know. Maybe they were all hotels during the Gold Rush but then converted to restaurant/bars at a certain point.

Either way, this place was massive. It had several bars, a live band with a dance floor, and a grill with some delicious looking sausages.

There was a moment where two of Stephany’s friends dragged me on the dance floor and told me that I had to enjoy this song because it was the most Australian song ever written. I have no idea what that song was. I recall it being relatively dad-rocky, but have no clue beyond that.

Around 3am, I decided it was time to head back. I got a bus card and rode that puppy home.

The following day was a Santa-themed pub crawl around Manly Beach. I caught the ferry out of the city in the early afternoon. On Sundays, it only costs $2.50 for unlimited public transportation which was sick. Nice to get that perspective of Sydney for so cheap.

Myself, Stephany, Maria and Marta lounged in the sand for a bit before donning our Santa gear. The girls all looked great and I looked ridiculous (on purpose). I was wearing a scandalous apron. Notice the strategically placed mistletoe.

The crawl began. Apparently it had been off to the races for a while. At the first bar we went to, which seemed completely chill, a chick vomited through her hand onto the floor. It was 2:15pm at best. Giddyup. The second place had music blasting and a saucy dance party happening insane. The line outside, however, which we were in, came to a stand still right when it was getting good (video doesn’t do it justice).

We went to another hotel (bar) and chilled on the balcony for a few beers and snacks before catching the ferry back to downtown. Stephany took Maria and I to a semi-classy rooftop spot with a solid view of the Opera House.

In case you were wondering, I was still wearing the apron. Two people were kind enough to mime some extremely sexual actions while I ordered my drink. It was an experience.

We ended the night by watching a holiday light show displayed on St. Mary’s Cathedral. It was a story for children about making friends or something. The voice actor had to do some weird singing and “meowing.” Nonetheless, a solid cap to the evening.

The following day I wandered around the city some more. I retraced a few of the walking tour steps to spend more time at a few places and checked out some carnivorous plants. Then I met up with Stephany and Maria to head to the fish market. It was almost closed, but we were able to snag a sushi donut for $10, which I’m told is a steal. I wasn’t familiar with the concept before. To clarify, it’s various types of sushi in the shape of a donut. There is no actual dough. The construction and taste were quite fantastic. I’d highly recommend if you’re ever in the area.

ANZAC Memorial
The Calyx #2
Sydney Fish Market

Next, we took a train over to Newtown, an artsy suburb, to walk around. That meant finding a brewery and getting a flight. I was in my element. The beer was aight. We went to yet another hotel and I got a local Strong Ale. Again, deece/sub-deece.

We made a plan to venture out to Blue Mountains in the morning, so we went back to our corners to rest up.

It was an early morning rendezvous at Central Station to catch a train to Katoomba. We had visions of doing a 3 hour trek around the Three Sisters before doing a 3 hour canyon walk. The guy at the information desk essentially laughed at us because there just wasn’t enough time in the day to complete it all.

Instead, we hit the lookout and also walked down to touch the Three Sisters. Then we went on some crazy track down the Furber Steps. Aptly named because there were so many steps.

Along the way, we heard a sonar-like ding, echolocation noise happening that was really bizarre. Turned out to be Bell Miners (birds), even though we couldn’t see them.

At a junction on the trail, we came to one of the strangest signs I’ve ever seen. There were two options that would both take 45 minutes — one was “medium” and the other “moderate.”

Very curious if there will be a clear consensus on this question.

Anyway, we chose the moderate path and continued on. I was leading the group and we walked through a section that was very much in the bush. I kept thinking that I was going to either get webbed and bitten by a spider or step on a snake. Thankfully none of those things occurred. We found a cozy picnic table under a canopy and had lunch before furiously climbing a shit ton of steps.

In the town of Leura, we had a victory drink and then boarded a train back to Sydney.

As Stephany napped, Maria and I had a solid conversation about spirituality, death and legacy.

I’m abusing polls now for some reason.

I walked back to my hostel as they caught their connecting train back to Steph’s flat. It was nice to do a decent walk in Australia. I’d been missing that since leaving New Zealand.

December 18, 2018December 16, 2018

Zack & Hannah’s Visit Pt. 3

Day 6 – 1 in 100 in Milford

We forgot to buy coffee at the grocery store. This was a grievous error.

We were out of bed by 6am, on the bus out to Milford Sound by 6:30am and Zack and Hannah were caffeineless. Danger.

The drive out was actually pretty hilarious because they took like 4 separate naps.

Ethan, our driver, was giving us a commentary on the ride and they missed the majority of that.

We were extremely lucky with the weather we were getting though. We made a pit stop at Mirror Lakes because the conditions were perfect. Such still water, the reflection was pristine.

We also passed by Lake Gunn, which looked even better. Unfortunately, we didn’t stop. I regret not asking him to pull over. It would’ve been an epic picture as the water was reflecting the snow-capped mountains in perfect symmetry. The golden light of the morning also gave an amazing contrast to the blue of the sky and the white of the snow. Man, what a scene.

Next, we pulled off to the side of the road where there was a Kea waiting for us. A kea is an alpine parrot species that’s become a somewhat pesky critter since tourists have been feeding them. They’re pretty cute the way they hop around though.

This one was familiar with Ethan apparently. It greeted everyone kindly, apart from Zack. It didn’t like the cut of his jib I guess and ended up biting his toe. Lolz.

This did not have a lasting effect on Zack as he went back to sleep when we boarded the van again.

After another 20-30 minutes drive we got to Deep Water Basin, where our kayak trip was launching.

Two consecutive days on the water was going to be epic. And the weather was even better than the previous day somehow. That’s really saying something because they get like 200 some days of rain in Milford Sound.

We met our guide, Mossimo, and got outfitted with gear.

The good news: GoPros would be in action.
The bad news: the sandflies were absolutely everywhere and eating us to bits.

Once we were on the water it was alright but it was straight brutal beforehand.

Everybody else was coupled up, so I got paired with the only other single person – a girl from Slovakia named Makayla. Our boat fucking killed it too. I was steering in the back and we were in perfect synch. A decent amount of our day was spent waiting for some of the stragglers to catch up.

The water was abnormally calm for the first part of the day and the scenery was epic. It really was a redemption song from my first experience.

About an hour into the paddling, Hannah seemed like she was hitting a wall. Hunger and a lack of coffee was getting the better of her. I looked over at one point and she was draped over the kayak. Seemed dead.

It was a little bit of a stop and start situation again because there was one couple that was always lagging behind. We also had to cross a few boat channels which meant rounding up the group. Honestly, in terms of distance we didn’t make it all that far into the sound. If given the opportunity, I think Makayla and I could’ve seen a decent amount more.

As the afternoon went on, the wind picked up and the water got more choppy.

The rocky beach where we had lunch was an awesome spot though. Hannah was happy once she satisfied the food and caffeine-shaped hole in her stomach.

For as beautiful as the scenery was, the sandflies were nearly intolerable during lunch. I think they’re particularly fond of Western blood because Zack and I were getting demolished. They really should’ve supplied some spray.

Our spot was quickly disappearing as the tide was coming in so we finished eating and got back out there. It wasn’t too far to paddle back to base.

Before we went to shore Mossimo told us the Maori legend of how Milford Sound was created. Kind of a fun tale if you care to read it.

I really enjoyed our time on the water. I’m a big fan of kayaking and rafting in general. With this scenery too, it was hard to be mad.

We shed our gear and then Ethan picked us up to drive us back to Te Anau. We made a few other brief stops on the return.

The Road to Te Anau
Lake Gunn in the Afternoon
The Chasm

It was a long day of being out but a sweet experience. With the extra stops and guiding, we felt like we got more than we paid for which was cool. Ethan did pretty well on tips too, so we joked that the beers were on him.

When we got back, we checked into our new room together (with a bed for me!) and showered up.

We ventured out into the burgeoning metropolis of Te Anau for a meal. Of course, we ran into Ethan at the restaurant. There was a wait for a table so he invited us to join him and a Swedish guy who was on his tour the day before us.

Amazing happenstance. Getting to know both of them was hilarious.

Ethan was like 24 but had been a sponsored BMXer, the skipper of a Marlin charter boat and a gold miner in Canada. He was also a ladies man with some comical stories. For example, he told us how he had a crush on this girl but ended up hooking up with her Mom when he was younger. Those days are apparently behind him now. He said he was ready to settle down and find a long-term relationship.

“Yeah. I’m the kind of guy you can bring home to Mom…Please bring me home to your Mom.”
-Nate Impersonating Ethan

Peter was a behavioral scientist for animals, working at various zoos and sometimes traveling the world as a keynote speaker.

We went to the “hip” bar for a final round. Ethan responsibly left first since he had another tour in the morning and then we parted ways with Peter. Another great evening.

Day 7 – The Imbalanced Ratio of Driving vs Stopping

We weren’t in a hurry in the morning, but we knew we had a long time on the road.

Our plan was to do what I had done a week prior and drive south through the Catlins to see some of the sights on our way to Dunedin. Only this time without the flooding.

It was roughly 5hrs of driving, not including stops. We had the key ones picked out.

After breakfast, we pushed off on our first leg of the trip — a somewhat plain drive through Invercargill (stop to pee) and onto Curio Bay.

Three hours later, we had arrived. Unfortunately, we couldn’t see any of the wildlife around but it was a solid vista. It was only a brief stop before we were onto the next.

Then after another 45 minutes and some car sickness, we made it to our second stop — Purakaunui Falls. It was a short walk to one of the more unique ones I’ve seen.

It was about another hour or so to Nugget Point. We had a solid chat about the healthcare system in America before we arrived.

It was a 40 minute return walk to the lighthouse that had some unique cone-shaped rocks just off the coast.

Got back in the car. Roughly another hour long drive to Dunedin.
Pit stopped near Balclutha to refuel and pee.
Some more car naps.
I was fading.
Bland scenery? Unusual for New Zealand. At least we didn’t have to ford any floods.
It felt a lot later than it was.

At long last, we entered the Dunedin city limits.

We stayed outside of the city center at an AirBnB that was situated on a hill overlooking everything. It had a pretty awesome view.

The host was out when we arrived so we let ourselves in and got comfortable.

There was a debate on whether we should just make food and relax there or venture into the city.

The energy level was low.

I tried to encourage going to see some sites since they might never be back. That won out in the end and we had a pretty awesome dinner, featuring tasty pasta dishes and a full liter of wine. A full liter.

We met our host briefly when we returned. It was basically to set up our breakfast time for the morning.

Day 8 – The Swan Song

The Airbnb reviews really talked up Georgina (the host).

She provided some muesli and toast for us. She was definitely the chatty grandmother type. I think we left like a good 30-45 minutes later than we would have since she got on a roll.

It was good. Apart from the drunk shitheads in Queenstown and playboy Ethan, Zack and Hannah hadn’t had much of a chance to connect with a local.

She made some recommendations of places to stop on our drive up to Christchurch. It was another long day in the car. We had to get back at a certain point to drop off the rental as well.

We did pull off to see the Moeraki Rocks, do a quick drive by of the Oamaru steampunk museum and grab lunch but I don’t remember too much else.

Car naps? Oh, mos definitely.

We made it to our final destination a little before 4pm. We hustled to unload our things so we could knock out the airport excursion and get into Christchurch to explore.

Again, the 12 year old girls took a while to process our return (we’ve come full circle) but it got done and we caught the bus downtown.

I showed them the main highlights I’d seen – New Regent St, Cathedral Square, the Bridge of Remembrance and a few of the shopping streets.

We went to an “upmarket food court,” as a shop owner described it, for dinner. It was a large building with a ton of tasty looking restaurants all side by side.

I went HAAM on my last meal in New Zealand. A huge plate of seafood fried rice, some sushi and a big boy beer.

We decided it’d be a nice trip finale to go have a drink at one of the cool spots we’d seen on New Regent St.

We chose The Last Word, which looked like a vibey whisky bar. After a drink there, we were like why the hell not and went to The Institution across the street. They were both divey bars with a good selection and fun decor.

We had a comfy time on some couches finishing that beverage. Then the question of what we were doing next came up. Well damn. I’m usually not one to derail a night out but I had to leave a 4am to head to the airport. It was already 10:30pm and I still had to repack my things. The intelligent part of my brain said we should probably go back. I was up for whatever, so let the other two decide.

Hannah felt like staying out so we went back to The Last Word to have the last word.

I just thought of that.

I’m glad we did. Zack and I got in a giggle fit about how introverts could meet other introverts and get in a relationship without saying anything to one another.

It was an excellent way to finish off our time together, and my trip as a whole.

We Uber’d back to our…hotel room? It was a unique, boutique type accommodation with a bit of a weird vibe if I’m being honest.

The three of us destroyed our room rearranging all of our belongings. We said our fond farewells.

I got less than 2 hours of sleep. Thankfully, I woke up to my alarm and met my taxi.

After 3 months of living in New Zealand, I hopped on a 6am flight to Australia.

I was leaving what had become familiar territory to start a new chapter of this travel adventure. Mixed feelings that I’m only just now processing.

The incredible thing, is that I somehow only ended up with this single 10¢ coin.

I’d say my experience was worth a whole lot more, but an overall rating of 10 wouldn’t be too far off.

December 12, 2018December 12, 2018

Dunedin to Christchurch

Dunedin. (Pronunciation guide: Dun-e-din)

People didn’t necessarily speak highly of it. I’d hear it was largely a university city. Much more sprawling than anything I’d seen since Auckland.

It was relatively quiet though, considering the students were away. Summer break. Man. I’m still not used to the whole season reversal thing yet.

It was a unique place, designed by a Scottish dude. I don’t think it was Robert Burns but there was a statue of him in the middle of the town, so maybe. Also happens to be my grandfather’s name.

The city center was shaped like an octagon, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen. The building architecture was also quite Victorian? I know that’s a thing…not sure if it’s an accurate thing. It was UK-esque anyways. An intricate train station, some cathedrals and shopping. Other than that, not too much doing.

There was a castle outside of town and the worlds steepest street, apparently. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to either of those two attractions.

After a day of light exploring and sorting out my life and laundry, I hit the road for Christchurch. It was about a 5 hour drive and it was time for me to turn in my rental car. I’ve been cruising around in this thing for 20 days already. Hard to believe.

It was a rather uneventful drive; by New Zealand standards, a very boring stretch of land. I arrived in Christchurch mid-afternoon and checked into my hostel quickly so I could sort out the rental drop off.

I was eager to spend time walking around the city. There was supposed to be an interesting juxtaposition of new and dilapidated buildings due to a devastating earthquake they had in 2010.

Can confirm the accounts as accurate. The cathedral in the city center was the most notable example but there were other completely modern structures directly opposite run down buildings too. Hopefully they’re able to renovate/reconstruct everything to tolerate the volatile earth floor they have.

Another unique thing about Christchurch was the street art. There were a lot of large murals around the city which reminded me of Richmond. I was digging it.

Street Art by Askew
Street Art by Wongi Wilson

It was time for dinner and I decided I would treat myself to a meal out since it was Thanksgiving back home. Since I’m still a cheapskate, I found a cool burger place that fit the bill. An old shipping container with a solid patio situation. Thursday was also bike repair night, so there were a ton of cool motorcycles there. Neat spot. Good choice.

I walked around a little bit more before making my way back to the hostel for the evening. I had a little bit more preparation to do before Zack and Hannah arrived the next day.

First visitors, yay! It was going to be a jam-packed few days but promised to be an amazing time. We’d essentially be doing the loop I just finished, but it was an opportunity to tackle some walks and other activities I didn’t get to do. Plus, having familiar faces to share the last hoorah with was going to be sweet.

Going out with a bang.

December 7, 2018December 7, 2018

Fording

Pop some popcorn. I’m going to take you on a word adventure.

My journey up to Dunedin was brutal, you guys. I think I ran the gamut for vehicular challenges encountered.

My goal was to have a nice drive along the south coast with a few pit stops in key areas. The weather was shitty, but I was hoping it would turn good when I got to the eastern part of the South Island.

It didn’t.

[This has definitely become a blog complaining about the weather.]

I cruised through Invercargill and headed for a recommended spot – Waipapa Point. There was a lighthouse and shit.

As I arrived, it was, of course, raining but the wind was insane. It was blowing the car sideways at times. I got out and did a quick walk up to the lookout. Unfortunately, the view didn’t outweigh the unpleasantness of the elements. I decided to keep driving and just get the flavor of some spots from the car.

Waipapa Point Westher

I was almost all the way through the “Southern Scenic Route” before i had to turn around because of a road in flood. There was so much rain that rivers were spilling over onto main roads. I tried to troubleshoot the way around with another set of travelers. No luck. I spent a half hour on the phone with various NZ services trying to get information about additional flooding and alternate routes. I didn’t have any more cellular data and there was spotty reception anyway. It was a part of the country with a bunch of small gravel roads, so GPS wasn’t much help either.

Flood at Papatowai

I wasn’t given any useful info from the transit authority or council. I looked at a map and sorted out some possible options. The first few were a bust — I encountered several more impassable roads and a fallen tree obstructing another way. I tried to pull the branches apart for a bit and make a path. It looked like a car had somehow gone partially over it recently. In attempting to drive on the “shoulder” to pass it, my car got stuck in the mud. Thankfully I was able to reverse and get out. Close call.

I had to back track an hour and a half to find what I thought would be a reliable main road. I mean, look how close I was to being through it. Because of the extra winding, weaving and retracing, my fuel tank was on empty. I had a partially flat tire to boot and only a donut in the boot (trunk).

After adding 3+ hours of driving onto my day, I thought I was in the clear and bound for a late arrival at my destination, but an arrival nonetheless.

I came upon another flood just outside of Balclutha. It seemed small enough to drive through if I went on the wrong side of the road.

Success.

It was dark by now, and the relief I felt when I got on the main highway was quickly evaporating. The stress was creeping back in. There were no other roads I could use to circumvent any more blockages.

Then I came upon a road crew stopping traffic. To the right, I noticed somebody’s house under several feet of water. That fucking sucks. There were people trying to help move the water but…where was it going to go?

That’s when I noticed what was in front of me. Major water flowing across the road. This was the last main township before Dunedin. I was so close. Please.

One of the crew motioned me up to him. I thought I’d reached the end of the line.

He said my car would probably make it through alright, I just had to go slow. They were only letting through one person at a time so the water didn’t wake and splash up onto peoples engines.

It must’ve been just over ankle deep and my car was not tall. I didn’t see much of a current though, so that was a silver lining.

Two cars came through from the other way and it was my turn to ease through it. High anxiety.

With the depth of the water and darkness, I couldn’t make out the lines on the road. I was instructed to hug the high side but I couldn’t tell what was what or where it ended. Holy shit.

I turned a slow corner, spewing water from both sides and saw the other part the road block. Phew.

I came up the unintended boat ramp and wiped the flop sweat off my forehead. I waved politely and ventured on.

I’d barely gotten back up to speed when I saw yet another flood ahead. This one seemed deeper and with more of a current. There was no road crew ushering people through or to give advice here.

I’d made it this far and figured they wouldn’t be letting people through at the other checkpoint if it was dangerous. I slowed down and drove into it.

Once again, no road markings. No lights or markers in the distance giving me an idea of what line to take or direction to maintain. Occasional water splashing up onto the hood. The fan belt screeching from getting wet — and being a bit loose and shitty, but that was a separate problem.

I was moments away from fully freaking out. It was starting to rain again and the windshield was fogging and the wipers were being temperamental. I noticed, again, that my fuel gauge was bordering on ‘E’. What other issues could there possibly be? Was some sort of ancient river monster going to swim up and swallow me whole? In that moment, I might’ve welcomed that.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it was my birthday. Sweet. The beer was somewhere in the distance. I was determined to get there.

Finally, I saw some reflectors up ahead. I stayed on track and made it through ford number three? Seven? Twelve? Lost count. But thanks, Oregon Trail, for all of the practice as a youth. Couldn’t have done it without you.

The low fuel light came on again, so I pulled over in the next “locality” to fill up.

It was a small town, so all the shops were closed. They have single pay stations, as opposed to the pay-at-the-pump options like we have back home. Even though I did this procedure earlier in the day, it was refusing my card. I selected credit but it was requiring a pin. I selected checking but still declined. “Techmology – is it good or is it whack?”

I had no choice but to keep going. I fired up my GPS to check how far away I was. 32 miles. That seemed pretty sketchy to ride on empty.

A few miles later, I came through another small town. There was somebody filling up at this station too. Good deal. Maybe this payment system would be different.

As I pulled in, the other person was getting back in their car. I ran through the whole process and my card got declined again. Fuck. I had to stop the person from driving off to ask if they could use their card in exchange for cash.

The guy was like, “I’ll have to transfer money over. The most I could do is $20.”
“Whatever you’re comfortable with. Will $10 get me to Dunedin?”
“It should get you there.”
“K.”

Holy S. $10 equated to a little over 4 liters, which is barely a gallon of gas.

It proved to be enough. The light came on again as I entered into the sleepy city center of Dunedin. It was 10:30pm. About 12 hours of problem solving had gotten me here.

My hostels reception desk was at the bar of the downstairs pool hall. I ordered a shot of whiskey while checking in. Two birds.

I hurriedly dropped my bags in my room and b-lined for the nearest bar. I realized I forgot my passport and usually they don’t accept a foreign drivers license as an ID. I almost turned around to give up but said fuck it and waltzed up to the place. No door man, thankfully.

I snagged a stool and a pint. Victory sip.

Then some incredibly gregarious, old Danish man started chatting me up when he saw I was left handed. After telling me why we were sinister, he asked to see my tattoos, asked if I was a numberphile and gave me all of his contacts so he could give me Danish lessons via email (without being prompted).

It worked out in the end because he had a cool, also tatted coworker who bought a round of scotch for my birthday. Gorm followed that up with a round of 22 year old Balvenie aged in Portwood – $28 per taste.

Deece.

We closed the place down and then I got invited back to have hot chocolate + cookies and watch Al Jazeera…at 2am.

I’ve always got time for the news.

Not really. But I did that night.

And that is the story of my 32nd birthday. Highs and lows. Life and death. Sinister and scotch. Hot chocolate and the news. I’ll take it.

November 15, 2018November 14, 2018

The Weather Outside is Weather

I feel a little bad. But should I? It’s complicated.

Was it my fault for putting him through the ringer? Do I blame the lady at the i-Site for pointing me in this direction? Ugh.

These were the thoughts going through my head as we were laying out all of our belongings on a deck to dry off in the sun.

Rewind a few days to me devising a plan to conquer Abel Tasman National Park. I’ve heard it’s one of the best places to see in New Zealand. “So beautiful,” everyone says.

With all the hype, I wanted to get as much out of it as possible.

It’s one of the New Zealand great walks, 51km (32 miles) across 3-5 days depending on your pace. The huts along the track are $75 to stay in though. And they’re the most basic accommodation – no power, no cooking, no showers; just a thin mattress under a roof. Campsites were $30, so that was my play. Still pretty steep, but more manageable.

The thing was, I didn’t want to walk the entire track. I mean, I have the knees of a 65 year old. I’m not sure I could do it in consecutive days even though it wasn’t an intense grade. Plus, there were some awesome kayaking opportunities along the coast that I wanted to hit up.

I went to the Nelson i-Site and got some advice from one of the staff members. Take a water taxi up to one of the highest points the first day, do a loop walk, camp, do a one-day guided kayak, camp, then walk out. A pretty nice combination of everything. Sounded perfect.

Then I got a Facebook message from Jonathan, a Canadian traveler I rafted with in Taupo, asking what my upcoming plans were. I told him the route I was looking at and invited him along. Significantly more fun to have company on a multi-day trek anyhow.

To my surprise, he’s down to join. Sweet.

I met up with him in Nelson after I left Pete and Kyra’s and we miraculously hitched ourselves to a hostel right at the start of the track (which honestly is not that close to anything). There was no cellular service and the wifi allotment from the backpackers was 100MB/day. A bit laughable.

I repacked my bag, prepared my food and got ready for the epic journey.

Jonathan looked at the weather forecast and started getting nervous.

Him: “It’s supposed to rain 9mm tomorrow.”
Me: “Is that a lot?”

This whole imperial vs. metric system issue is 100% confusing. My scale for everything — temperature, distance, weight — is completely off.

The important bit I gathered was a high probability of precipitation.

Ok. Well, everything was already planned, so we’ll just deal with it as it comes.

I didn’t have a traditional rain cover for my pack so I borrowed a garbage bag and fashioned a poncho-type thing just in case.

We woke up early in the morning and went to catch our water taxi at the kayaking company we were using. It wasn’t raining which seemed like a good omen.

Such a pleasant boat ride out to the starting point, too. We made a few stops along the way to drop off the kayak group for that day. Then it was just me, Jonathan and the skipper, Justin. He did his best to get us to a spot where we wouldn’t have to get our feet wet. We disembarked the boat safely but had to cross a stream over a sand dune anyway so the shoes still had to come off.

Anyway, it was really working out. We were crushing our walk under some moderate cover and it still wasn’t raining. The sun actually peaked out a few times. There were some nice lookouts and we even decided to do a side path that took us out to Separation Point to see some seals.

Shortly thereafter, we arrived at the first main checkpoint, Wharawharangi (roughly halfway). We stopped to have lunch and take a breather. We were harassed through the entire meal by some pesky Wekas — a flightless bird that’s always trying to knick some food.

As we packed up and got ready to move on, we were feeling good. There was about another 4-5hrs before we would arrive at our campsite. Manageable. The sign directing us made it seem like it’d be smooth sailing as well. Less kms than our previous leg and less time. No problem.

This was blatantly not the case.

First off, this is when it started to rain. It was only a sprinkle but we decided to activate our rain gear. Jonathan was well prepared with a cover for his pack and an umbrella. I had my Gore-Tex jacket and my bag poncho.

Feeble attempts.

I was convinced that even if it started to pour, we would be mostly under a canopy based on the type of path we’d been on all day. Again, not the case.

As the rain increased, so did the openness of the track. We were fully in the elements. It was the hardest rain I’ve seen in New Zealand to date. Reminiscent of a Virginia thunderstorm, except it lasted for 7+ hours.

No wonder everything is so green here.

And of course, instead of an easy walk that we could power through, it was an insane climb. Gibbs Hill is a son of a bitch. It wasn’t so much a path as it was a steep wash out. After being continually defeated and disheartened, we made it to the peak. We stopped long enough to appreciate how awesome the view would’ve been in good weather and forged ahead.

We were convinced there was a hut an hour away from our campsite that we could take refuge in — sit next to the fire to dry out for a minute. This was our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It was what we needed. What we were looking forward to.

Then we got to Totaranui after another three hours of walking to discover nope. There was not a hut with a cozy, warm fire. No comfy chair with hot chocolate. No toasty socks to put back on.

“Yeah, nah,” as the Kiwis would say.

The check-in office was even closed. The best we had was a cooking shelter with two open walls. Better than nothing to get out of the rain for a bit.

Now, it was decision time.

There was no way we were camping in the wet, cold rain. The dilemma came in the form of staying there under a pop-up tent that would loosely act as a reprieve from the rain (and getting up super early to make up the extra distance to meet our kayak crew in the morning) or continuing on for another two hours to an actual hut. The upside was, of course, the fire and warmth. And being able to sleep in a little bit since it was closer to the rendezvous point.

The major downside was that we would have to cross the Awaroa inlet. The only way to do so was within two hours of low tide.

We didn’t have that information because we weren’t planning on going that far. Ooof. And there was very fleeting cell service to try and pull it up.

Luckily, I was able to get a sliver of a bar and find the details. It was 7pm and low tide was at 8:13pm. It would be dark, but if we hustled we could make it happen.

The fire. It was everything. The primary motivation. As wet as my feet were and as much as my back hurt, I felt like I could power through because of that prospect.

So on we went into the night. The rain eased up at points, giving a false sense of hope. It wouldn’t stop for several hours yet.

After busting out the headlight and forcing ourselves over some more switchbacks, we came to the inlet. The other side of the track was probably a little longer than a football field away. We were meant to look for a big orange marker to direct us. We didn’t calculate how impossible it would be to see that in the dark. Shit.

It seemed like there was a light off in the distance, so that’s what we headed for.

Then we encountered the obstacle of the tidal crossing. There were probably 6-8 pockets of water that were knee to ankle deep and a few feet wide. Couldn’t see any areas narrow enough to jump over and didn’t really have enough time to go searching. We had been warned that the tide could get up to 7 knots rushing in or out. There was no turning back now.

I just went for it. I didn’t bother to take my socks or shoes off. I was just wading through the ice cold water, semi-directionless. Jonathan took his shoes off, braving the minefield of rocks and shells.

We kept aiming for the dim light, and thankfully, that paid off.

As we got closer, we noticed it was moving — a headlamp from someone at the hut.

Salvation. We made it.

We climbed the three steps up to the porch and saw some blissful flames through the window. Yes, please.

First, I had to rinse out the pebbles and immense amount of sand in my shoes and socks.

The other hikers were shocked that we were just arriving. They also warned us of how strict the warden was. Remember, we had a campsite reservation that was $45 cheaper than the hut fee. Ugh. The last thing I wanted to deal with was a callous park ranger. Whatever.

I started to unpack dinner and a change of clothes and realized basically everything in my bag was soaked. The poncho did it’s job for the top of the pack but it didn’t cover my tent, which was strapped to the bottom. Moisture seeped up from there and reached almost everything. My sleeping bag, camera equipment, and clothes were all wet. Dammit.

I spent like an hour and a half standing next to the fire holding up various articles of clothing. I set my shoes right next to the wood stove hoping they’d be dry enough by morning. I was completely exhausted.

Hooray for moderately shitty but dry sleeping conditions!

By the time Jonathan and I left in the morning, most things were only damp and we escaped an encounter with the warden. But, I left behind my favorite shirt absent-mindedly. I’ll take the tradeoff, I suppose.

We left the hut at 8:50am for what we thought was a 30 minute walk to meet our kayaking group by 9:30am.

Subsequent stressful experience: poorly-worded signs.

There was a point where we should’ve turned left to take the beachside pathway. Instead, we turned right on the 1hr45min track.

Whoops.

After climbing for 20 minutes we realized our mistake but didn’t have much of a choice but to continue, We ran, which is next to impossible after you’ve spent like 11 hours walking the day before. We stumbled onto the beach just as three kayaks were paddling away. It was 9:33am.

This can’t be happening.

Surely, they would’ve waited 5 minutes for us to show up.

I waited on the beach as Jonathan went up to the lodge to check. He came back and said we were at the wrong beach.

I was like THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY. And he was like, yeah, I’m playing. They’re just running really late.

Phew.

We saw Justin and his boat turn the corner into the bay. All was well. And it got better when the guide got off to great us. Nicole. “Holy smokes,” as Jonathan would say.

The remote coast kayaking trip we went on was pretty sick.

It was a small group of 6 people across 3 kayaks, plus Nicole riding solo. She told us the story of Abel Tasman as we got our bearings. Over the course of the day, we saw some seals and sting rays, had lunch in a beautiful harbor, and even used our picnic blanket as a sail for part of the way. It was a lovely contrast to the previous day.

At the end of the trip it was time to decide if Jonathan and I were going to camp for the night and walk out the next day or head back to dry off our stuff. It was a really tough call. The weather had turned nice and the camp site was basically right on the beach in an amazing bay. Plus, we were feeling good after such an awesome kayaking trip.

We decided to stay.

After setting up our tents and exploring a bit of the area, we made a fire and checked in with the warden. We were joined by a Belgian and French guy and shared stories throughout the evening. Once the fire died down we called it a night.

I fell asleep pretty quickly. Around 2am I started waking up every 15 minutes because of how freezing it was. The weather turned and I was in such a shitty tent. I knew it was cheap going in, but I was hoping the quality of my sleeping bag would save me. Unfortunately not. Then around 4am it started raining.

Cool.

I got up for good at 7:30am and started to pack up my tent in the drizzle. It was almost impossible to pry myself out of the lukewarm cocoon I made. But we had to start walking at 9am to ensure we would make another tidal crossing farther down the way. Jonathan surfaced when I was almost finished packing up. I saw a finger and an eyeball poking out of a small unzipping in his tent.

Apparently he’d eaten something that didn’t agree with him the night before. Nature of the beast packing food for multiple days, I suppose. He tried to sleep it off for a little bit longer. I waited in the food shelter shivering, hoping the small pockets of blue would fill the whole sky.

Getting a later start wasn’t a total dealbreaker. It just meant we’d have to take the high tide track which added another hour and a half of walking.

When Jonathan came out again, he just wanted to go back. That was fine by me. The weather was starting to clear up, but another 7 hours of walking did seem daunting.

Justin came back and shipped us home. By the time we re-checked into the hostel, the sun was shining and it was gorgeous.

That brings us back to the part where we were laying out everything in our bags on the deck. It looked like a shantytown. And thus, I was contemplating if I should apologize to Jonathan for bringing him along.

He actually thanked me for inviting him. It was a challenging time, character building, with some brilliance mixed in (Nicole).

In that moment, being able to lay in the sun was kind of euphoric. Also, Cup O’ Noodles never tasted so good.

There’s a lot to be said for being warm and dry.