Somebody told me that Thailand was called “The Land of Smiles.” For the most part, it felt like that was only when people wanted something from me. I did encounter one smile in particular that was heart melting. I’m saving those details for the memoir though.
I suppose the smiles could still be a work in progress. Adult braces were popular. Same goes for nose jobs and fake boobs/gender modifications (ie ladyboys). I never had an in-depth conversation with a local about their take on that phenomenon. But the sex culture is so prevalent and open. I think Pattaya is the prostitution capital of the world. I was given a heads up to steer clear so am only able to speak anecdotally. I can, however, speak first hand to how Tinder was sort of categorized based on location.
Chiang Mai – Primarily girls working in massage parlors trying to get business.
Phuket – “Freelance” aka service girls.
Bangkok – Normal Tinder. Decent amount of matches that are pretty much dead ends.
On multiple occasions, I heard people mention so-and-so having a Thai girlfriend. Seemed like a common concept. I’m curious to get more insight on that and the ladyboy prevalence when I return.
Along with orthodontists and plastic surgeons, 7-11 owners are making a killing. I’m highly considering becoming a franchise member. It would be a guaranteed passive income. In some places, there are stores directly across the street from one another. This is not an exaggeration. It’s a surefire investment.
Other miscellaneous observations:
Umbrellas are for sunny days.
They cut with spoons.
Vendors are less pushy than other neighboring countries.
The public transportation system was pretty good.
Thailand is a very strange shape.
I wasn’t as nomadic across the country as I would have liked to be. And I didn’t have all that much time to thoroughly digest a place. I missed out on a lot of activities for sure so perhaps I’ll have a longer list the next time I visit.
One of Thailand’s unique attributes is that it provides diverse landscapes and attractions. From the mountains and canyons of the north to the tropical beaches in the south, you could spend time trekking with elephants or boating to a picturesque and private blue water haven.
Wherever you prefer, there’s sure to be a temple nearby. Gold-wrapped and ornate, the wats in Thailand offered a unique Buddha or structure to help differentiate them from one another. Faith was strong and on display everywhere, down to a cashier bowing with praying hands to every customer. That’s what makes the promiscuity and sultry experimentation such an intriguing contrast.
Perhaps my biggest indulgence during my time in Thailand was the food. I neglected to take a cooking class, but I partook in enough street food to make up for it. The depth of flavor was extremely inviting. Curry and Pad Thai options were addictive — this coming from a person who didn’t rate any Thai cuisine before traveling. Khao Soi is a must try if you ever find yourself in Chiang Mai.
A piece of hearsay I became privy to was that tourism seemed to be slowing down. I was there during low season (and don’t have another trip to compare it to), so I can’t offer an opinion on that. I will say that the people seemed to be more confident and audacious. Perhaps that could be attributed to more exposure with foreigners. The integration of western concepts was much more seamless here than any other Asian country I’ve visited. The prices reflected that as well. Whether or not that changes with a fluctuating tourism industry, only time will tell.
By the Numbers
Days in Thailand: 15 Planes, Trains, and Buses: 8 Islands Visited: 5 Massages: 2 Street Food Meals: 12 Temples Visited: Lost Count THB Spent: ~20,857.01 USD Spent: ~$662.74 (Conversion rate of 31.4709)
For those interested in visiting one day, here’s a list of where I went and how I ranked stuff: (click the top left button of the map to expand the list view)
Favorite Attractions: 1. The Grand Palace 2. Koh Phi Phi 3. Doi Suthep 4. The Marble Temple 5. Wat Chedi Luang 6. Wat Pho 7. Koh Khai Nai 8. Khaosan Road/Bangla Road 9. The Golden Mount 10. The Big Buddha (Phuket)
Lastly, below is my “best of” album. This country has a lot more to offer than what I captured but hopefully I’ll be back when I’m a bit more advanced in my photography skills.
How has it been two months already? When I got to Vietnam, I wasn’t planning on staying that long. The extended visit meant that I got to get out of my backpack for a change and remember what a routine was like. Most of that routine consisted of me struggling to teach 4-15 year olds English — something I ignorantly underestimated despite having no experience.
As someone who has never been confident interacting with young kids, allowing me to “command” a full classroom was a highly questionable decision on the part of my employers. Each morning I had to fight past my discomfort to show up and attempt to teach, even though I didn’t know what I was doing. And while there may not have been a real benefit for the students, I did connect with a few of them. I have a newfound appreciation and respect for teachers (and parents for that matter) — especially those with the patience and fortitude to keep smashing head first into the wall that is kindergarten-aged little ones. At a very pessimistic minimum, all of the nerves and sweat helped subsidize an excellent 10-day tour across the country with my friend Jorge.
While teaching had its rough moments, there’s still plenty of things I came to love about Vietnam.
The cities are densely populated and bustling. Streets packed with motorbikes and cars made crossing the road feel like a game of life and death at times. The street food stalls full of people squatting on tiny plastic chairs created a special vibe. There’s a certain type of energy in that claustrophobic lifestyle.
On food: the cuisine was about what I expected it to be. I ate rice almost everyday. I ate parts of animals that I don’t want to know more details about. Some meals almost forced me into vegetarianism. Chicken feet aren’t great. Shrimp sauce is even worse. But the pho was right. “Bread’ aka banh mis became my go-to delicious and cheap option (65¢ a piece).
The people are friendly and emotional. The amount of times I heard “show me your smile…” From what I’ve gathered, they love quickly and deeply. Overall, they seem busy and motivated yet happy. Also, the women are beautiful. But that could just be my new thing.
There’s history everywhere. I feel like every place Jorge and I went on our tour used to be the country’s capital at some point. Temples, dynasties, and wars. I felt like I was staring into the past in some places. The natural palette of brown rivers accompanying muted black limestone mountains and deep green rice fields created an ancient ambiance. Don’t worry, though. There are some developing, modern places that, when finished, will provide quite the contrast. I’ll probably stick to nature regardless.
So, the people, the food, the scenery and the affordability are a worthwhile combination that will beckon me back. When? I don’t know yet, but probably not soon enough.
By the Numbers
Days in Vietnam: 65 Days Teaching: 40 Schools Taught At: 5 Teaching Salary: 19,642,000 VND Days of Tour: 11 Temples Visited: 12 Boat Rides: 7 VND Spent: ~41,319,325 USD Spent: ~$1,781.98 (Avg conversion rate of roughly 23187.26) Net Spend: ~$934.88
For those interested in visiting one day, here’s a list of where I went and how I ranked stuff: (click the top left button of the map to expand the list view)
Favorite Places: 1. Saigon 2. Hoi An 3. Hanoi 4. Halong Bay 5. Hue
Lastly, below is my “best of” album. This country has a lot more to offer than what I captured but hopefully I’ll be back when I’m a bit more advanced in my photography skills.
Ten days around Vietnam with one of my oldest friends? Lock it in!
Me and my buddy Jorge have been talking about Southeast Asia as a travel destination for maybe 10 years at this point. It feels like forever. That’s why this trip was such a delight. It was a friend reunion, it was a travel reunion, and on a much less significant note, I was with someone that fully understood me the whole time. Let’s call it a success on every level.
Both of us are laid back and flexible, which is a combination that makes for an easy travel mate. The only time it really became an issue was when we were looking for food. The openness turned into indecision as we made several laps around a city before settling for a banh mi. So many banh mis. Which isn’t a negative thing because they’re the perfect meal — tasty, fast and cheap. If I had to summarize our trip into as few words as possible it would be banh mis, balloons, and the feeve. Details I will touch on later. The amount of fun/terror we had crossing the road should also get a mention.
Since we did an organized tour, the majority of our days were mapped out and we didn’t have to worry about the headache of transportation to and from. Vietnam is country that’s long but narrow, with a lot of distance between the main hotspots In the north (Hanoi) and the south (Ho Chi Minh City) — about 1000 miles. Having our route pre-planned helped us optimize the amount we were able to see and do. And it also gave us an opportunity to get a few in-transit naps.
We had 3 different tour guides based on the regions we were in. It was interesting because they all had wildly different interpretations of Vietnam’s history and culture.
In the North, Hung was a mid-20s guy with somewhat rough English skills. He wasn’t as knowledgeable as the others and was open about his admiration for Ho Chi Minh. He was a super nice guy and hardworking so it’s hard to knock him.
In the center of the country, we had Huy, who was a 35 year old rubber tree farmer that looked 50. He had facts and figures out the ass which were sometimes a lot to take in. Over the three days we were with him, we were exposed to his unique perspective on gender dynamics. A very conservative viewpoint. “Vietnamese women…very soft, very nice.” To boil it down, he believed that a woman’s duty was to serve the man, if we saw a female drinking she was a prostitute and that having 10 daughters was like having no children. Quite a harsh outlook, but I suppose it’s common for people from a small country village to believe that. I mean, they still give 3-5 cows as a dowry…a rating system that Jorge and I started using much too late in the trip.
Lastly, in the south we had Hai. He was over 60 and came of age one year after the war ended. As he was from Saigon, he was very liberal and direct. He seemed pretty disillusioned with the revolution and told us a story that painted the rest of his countrymen as prejudiced toward southerners.
The discrepancies are kind of surprising. And when we tried to ask one of them to validate the opinions of the other, they came nowhere close. The lack of consensus is a little puzzling. Even though beliefs can vary widely in the US based on region, I feel like we still generally agree that people from the south are hospitable but conservative, people from the north are more liberal and people from the west coast are completely free-spirited. Am I wrong about that?
Regardless, what Jorge and I observed seemed to align the most with Hai, whether accurate or not. Everyone in the north did appear relatively liberal, but money-motivated. The population in the central carried themselves with a more formal, stereotypical attitude and appearance. And those in the south, at least in Saigon, mirrored other major cities in being open-minded and embracing the taboo/experimental.
Ok. Phew. Now that the cultural pseudo-summary is done, I’ll get into our itinerary. I’m not going to go beat by beat with analysis over the whole 10 days because no one has that much time. But I’ll hit the highlights.
Day 1. Welcome to Asia, Jorge!
After 20 some hours of travel, I met Jorge on the street in Hanoi’s Old Quarter around 11am. This was my third time in Hanoi, so I was relatively familiar with the layout. We had a free day to walk around and explore.
We started with lunch, did some wandering, went down train street, found a brewery, initiated Jorge into the egg coffee community, and joined the squat gang by eating some pho on the street whilst sitting on tiny plastic chairs.
Day 2. The Sites of Hanoi
We met Hung in the morning and visited the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum, Presidential Palace, One Pillar Pagoda and the Temple of Literature.
Unfortunately the interior of the Mausoleum was closed, so we didn’t get to see HCM’s entombed body. I’m guessing that would’ve been kind of weird anyway. We did get to see his old country style house and a few old cars.
The Temple of Literature is on their 100,000d note, so I tried to replicate that image.
We had lunch, checked out the Museum of Ethnology, and then walked around the Hoan Kiem Lake. Then we took a cyclo ride through the busy streets of the Old Quarter which was a fun way to see the city.
That night, we started with some drinks in a dive bar then walked around the night market. We witnessed a vendor get her entire fruit tray taken by the police. And then we did a bit more squat ganging for beer and a balloon (I wrote about this previously in my Hanoi post).
Day 3. Rice Fields and River Views
Departing Hanoi, we had a two hour drive to the Ninh Binh province. The first stop was Hoa Lu, which was the ancient capital, I want to say in the 11th century or something. We got to pet a friendly water buffalo. Then we had a delicious lunch in a garden where they just kept bringing plate after plate of food.
The marquee activity of the day was a boat ride down the Ngo Dong River in Tam Coc. A quaint row of buildings lined a river cul de sac where there were a million boats stacked on top of one another. There were many other tourists on the river at the same time but the scenery was stunning. It was a pretty long trip that took us through a few short caves. Our skipper rowed almost the entire way with his feet as well.
From there we went to a place called Mua Caves and climbed 300 steps to have an epic view of the surrounding area. Confused as to how a cave equates to a viewpoint, but who’s counting? (Semantics)
Our accommodation that night was a cozy resort in the middle of some desolate rice fields. This is when Jorge had the realization that the way he enjoys traveling is different now. Adulthood. Resort life. Cocktails by the pool. Relaxation. Good fortune.
Day 4. A Blue Sky in Halong Bay
We were picked up and driven another two hours to a port in Hai Phong where we caught our overnight cruise ship. We stocked up on some scotch and beer to bring along.
After a decent buffet lunch, and an introduction to the boat’s very attractive customer care specialist (I have developed a slightly uncontrollable appreciation for Asian beauties and I’m sorry but the only term to properly describe it is “feeve”), it was all deck time sailing amongst the gorgeous limestone islands. The sun came out and the constant overcast blanket I was used to dispersed to reveal a blue sky. My first in Vietnam. No joke. It only took a month.
Everyone aboard went on a small bamboo boat trip, deeper into the bay, through the “light and dark” caves. There was some free time for swimming which we used to drink outside and soak up the sea breeze. We had a few cocktails during sunset and enjoyed a pleasant dinner. We chatted with a honeymooning couple from Tennessee, a family from Indonesia and two female travelers from Switzerland. There was night time squid fishing which was pretty fruitless — they gave us baitless hooks. When everyone went to bed, I stayed on deck to have a solo beer and got corralled into helping one of the crew members learn English.
Day 5. All Kinds of Movement
We greeted the day with a very early morning Tai Chi session. The instructor moved quickly and I’m still uncertain what our bodies were supposed to be doing there. Ill-coordinated and fatigued.
After a light breakfast, we kayaked around an old fishing village. There were several communities living out in the bay until a year or two ago when the government forced them back on land to help preserve the environment.
Watching “the gaggle” of Malaysian tourists try to kayak was entertaining. There was one boat of two ladies that I don’t think made it 10 yards away from the dock.
Unfortunately the weather wasn’t as solid as the day before, but kayaking is kayaking. Always a pleasure to be out on the water.
During lunch (at 10:30am), there was a traditional music performance from a crew member named Mr. Happy.
By the time that was over, we were back at port and meeting up with our driver for another two hour ride to the Hanoi airport. We busted out the Priority Pass to lounge it up until our flight to Da Nang.
So basically there was a lot of transportation time before we arrived in Hoi An.
Immediately, there was a special vibe. The lantern city has a lovely feel with the architecture, cozy streets and colorful river banks.
Jorge and I met up with two travelers I roomed with in Bali and had some beers and a stroll. We also got to release some paper lanterns off the main bridge that connects the new and old parts of the city. I made a wish, but I’ll never tell.
Day 6. Yellow Buildings and Green Gardens
Huy met us at our hotel with bikes that we rode around Hoi An.
First, we stopped at a silk factory where they were making all kinds of things by hand. Jorge and I passed on the opportunity to have a custom-tailored suit. We also did not purchase any hand-threaded paintings, but they looked really sweet.
Next we visited the Japanese covered bridge, the folk museum, the Chinese Assembly Hall, an ancient house (that gets flooded almost every year), and a theatre where we watched an art performance.
From there, we rode outside the city, along beautiful rice fields, to a farm in the village of Tra Que. There, we had a brief cooking lesson on making rice pancakes (2 for 2 on the toss and catch) and ate them for lunch. We got our first taste of a Vietnamese foot massage as well, which was a game changer.
After a brief stroll through the well-kept gardens, we rode our bikes back to the city.
Jorge and I ditched Huy and continued on the bikes ourselves to discover more of Hoi An. We circled back to our favorite Happy Hour spot where it seemed you could always get a large bottle of Bia Saigon for 15,000d aka 65¢. We circumnavigated the city a few and were close to calling it a night but stopped back at the bar one more time because it was only 8:30pm.
We ended up chatting with two British girls who sat next to us. When all the reputable establishments closed at 10pm (normal for most places in Vietnam), the group ventured over to the cringeworthy Mr. Bean bar to continue the evening. That’s right. It was a Mr. Bean-themed bar. Terrible. A few more rounds and onto another bar. The girls glommed onto some other people so we got some balloons and watched a guy pull his scooter out of the river. Lolz.
Day 7. Are We in North Korea?
The main goal of this day was to see The Golden Bridge, which has become a popular tourist destination since opening last year. And because Instagram.
It was in an amusement park just outside of Da Nang, the Ba Na Hills Sun World. Crazy place.
We took a cable car up to the top of the “hill” which basically opened up into a fake European village. There were castles, cathedrals, and alleys and shops that made you feel like you were in Europe. But at the same time, everything was just a facade. There were games, rides and entertainers mixed in among these buildings that seemed to be made of plastic and styrofoam. It was very much an over-the-top setting without much substance. A beautiful storefront with nothing behind the curtain. And there was still sooo much under construction.
Thankfully, the main attraction delivered. The Golden Bridge, even though the hands were just textured to look like stone, was sweet. It curved out onto the edge of the mountain so you felt suspended in nature. While the park as a whole was full of tourists, we got somewhat lucky that the bridge was only mildly crowded when we were on it.
Initially, Jorge and I were feeling pretty confident about speeding through this place. In the end, I would’ve actually preferred more time to delve deeper into the nooks and crannies of this so called Sun World. There were so many things to investigate…and look behind.
On the way out of there, we took the scenic route over a mountain pass to reach Hue. We dropped our bags in our room and roamed the streets. At first, we went the complete wrong way, but had a nice walk by the river. Once we found the main area of the city, we did a few laps and settled on a place to have dinner, which ended up being the best meal of the trip. There were Vietnamese women around us that were drinking. Hookers.
Not really.
Day 8. Imperial and Forbidden
Our Hue city tour began with a walk around the Thien Mu Pagoda. There was another gaggle, this time of uniformed Vietnamese tourists that asked for a picture with me and Jorge. We were the tokens.
We took a dragon boat ride back down the Perfume River. With the entire boat to ourselves, it was awkward not buying any souvenirs from the persistent wife of the captain. A vicious cycle of items being held up and “No thank yous.”
Upon disembarking, we had a short walk over to the Imperial City, the former capital of Vietnam that is now basically a walled community. There were several buildings surrounded by halls, water features, and plants in bloom. Inside the Imperial City, separated by beautifully ornate gates, is the Forbidden City, which is where the King and his family lived. We got to see the ruins that housed the 5 wives and over 200 concubines. Every night, the King would apparently spend time with 5 different women for one hour each. He had a eunuch organizing his social calendar and reminding him of their names. The information that sticks with you…
We broke the confines for lunch, visited the Tu Duc tomb which was an entire compound, and then quickly passed through the market before being dropped off at the airport.
it was very much a small domestic airport, so no lounge situation. But eventually we boarded and had a quick plane ride to Saigon.
Side note — Jorge and I strictly refer to it as Saigon because 1) it sounds cooler than Ho Chi Minh City 2) the word was outlawed for 20 years after the city fell in 1975 and 3) that’s the beer we drank the most so…it’s gotta be Saigon.
Checking into our no-frills AirBnb was uneventful. It was a completely different story when we got out into the night life and found the main walking street.
It was an assault on the senses. There were tourists and locals everywhere. Shop after shop had tables and small chairs spilling out into the street, occupied by curious eaters and drinkers. There were children breathing fire amid various other street performers, wardrobe-sized speakers every 20 feet blaring awful karaoke, and mobile food vendors peddling additional flavors of the south. On our first pass through this exotic corridor of madness, we were accosted by some gorgeous women (feeve) trying to drag us into their massage parlors. Literally. we had to peel tightly-grasped fingers off of our arms. A few overwhelming laps later, we found a squat gang with suitable beer prices and set up shop to people watch. Honestly, I would’ve been fine if those were the only sights we saw the whole time we were there.
Day 9. Stepping into Apocalypse Now
In the morning, we piled into a car and drove out to the Mekong Delta in the Ben Tre province. We boarded a small boat that took us around to typical workplaces like a small brick factory and a coconut processing plant. Floating our way through the picturesque canals was a realistic embodiment of every Vietnam War movie you’ve ever seen — jungle-esque greenery lining a brown river under a beaming sun and a blue sky with puffy white clouds scattered about. This was, after all, the land of the “long-haired army,” where large numbers of women had joined the fight and it was next to impossible to discern between a villager and a VC. Thankfully, there was no gunfire to disrupt the serenity.
We walked through a small village, briefly stopped at a cacao stand (feeve x2), and visited a mat-weaving house. Then we climbed into a xe-lôi (a kind of motorized rickshaw) and were taken to a quaint lunch spot tucked back into the trees. Pan-fried fish, peeled off the bone. Delicious.
Finally, we hopped into a sampan for another peaceful trip on the water. Eventually, we made it back to our car and into the city.
For some extra adventure, we explored farther into District 1 that night. We ate at the Ben Tranh Street Food Market and found an awesome rooftop bar that was practically empty. As the night crept on, there was a gravitational pull back to the craziness of backpackers street, so we claimed two more chairs at our usual spot and enjoyed a few rounds of beers as the scene unfolded around us. Funky balloon.
Day 10. Biting the Bullet in Saigon
A typical day of sightseeing on one of the hottest days of the trip. For some reason, we started with a meal of hot ass soup at an underground food court too.
After perusing the market, we went to the War Remnants Museum. Most of the exhibits were pretty depressing, particularly the War Crimes room, and the museum left something to be desired in terms of the overall experience.
Needing a pick-us-up, we cruised by the Reunification Palace, Norte Dame Cathedral and Post Office. We also wandered around three of the prominent streets, Nguyen Hue Le Loi, and Dong Khoi before finding a solid watering hole with craft ales. Then we bounced between two other rooftop bars to get different views of the cityscape and watch the sunset.
After ample rounds of cocktails, we decided to be bold and take Grab bikes back to our accommodation. Considering how wild the traffic was, it felt like a mandatory activity. Don’t worry, Mom, they gave us helmets.
Safe and showered, we snagged dinner from a very local spot on the corner of our street. Then it was time for a final hoorah. Another foray into the wonderful chaos. It’s a predictable story — squat gang, a balloon, and some beers on backpacker street.
During a trip down a miscellaneous alley, we accidentally entered the gauntlet. We got smothered by what seemed like 10 girls. It was at least 6. But who can be sure? In that moment, it was impossible to resist their charm and perseverance. A massage felt earned after the whirlwind trip anyway. Plus, it seemed like another piece of the “quintessential Asian experiences” puzzle. In the end, the massage was just ok. And, of course, I ended up paying more than necessary because you kind of lose track of currency exchange in the presence of beauty. I guess it’s not really a scam. Or is it the oldest scam in the book?
What can I say? Saigon. Feeve.
There was obviously a late-night banh mi to cap off the evening too. The most fitting way to end the trip.
The next day we killed off the morning by packing, eating and sharing some of the photos we’d taken. We hung out at the airport until we had to part ways for opposite terminals.
All in all, I think we had the best time on the nature legs of the journey. Boating in Ninh Banh, Halong Bay and the Mekong Delta was special. The allure of Hoi An was also a big highlight for me. The only drawback is that the activity list seemed a little short there. In contrast, even though I’m not a big city person, I loved the energy of Saigon and think we barely scratched the surface of what there is to do there. I wouldn’t mind spending a full week there, but I might have to be pried out of a small plastic chair somewhere between Hair of the Dog and The Dragon Pub.
Even though the 10 days flew by, we definitely crushed our itinerary. Trust me, we’ve got the pictures to prove it. I can’t wait to do it again in another part of the world. Or maybe we’ll just have to come back to relive some of the glory and tackle the places we didn’t get to discover.
