Zack & Hannah’s Visit Pt. 1

I waited at the rental car counter for an hour. I was anxious because I had to drive back to the city to get my bags and then back out to the airport to scoop my people. They were already delayed a few hours so I couldn’t be late.

I was told the car was ready over the phone so didn’t expect such a long wait. Should’ve known. It seemed like the place only hired 12 year old blonde girls. I don’t necessarily have a problem with that as long as there’s enough on staff to see to the high volume of customers.

I got it, got my bags and got Zack and Hannah from the airport. Then we were off.

Our itinerary was pretty well planned out. At least our evening destinations were all booked, as well as a few excursions.

Our Loop Around New Zealand

Day 1  – Driving to Twizel

It was about a 4hr drive from Christchurch to Twizel (‘i’ as a ‘y’ sound).

The best part was coming over a hill to see Lake Tekapo with Mt. Cook and a few others in the background.

Lake Tekapo and Mt. Cook

We found a scenic lookout to pull over and snap some photos.

“It’s gonna be a gudday, mate.”

-Zack McDowell

And it was. We picked up some groceries for dinner and the next few days.

We were staying at an AirBnB that turned out to be epic. It was set up to be a ski lodge for a large group. Seemed a bit wasted on the 3 of us but no matter. We made a nice dinner and took advantage of the fire place and comfy sofas. Funny to think that we were probably knocking out our nicest accommodation on the first night. Oh well.

Z&H stayed up late enough for us to enjoy the digs (and hopefully avoid any major jet lag).

Day 2 – Our First Hike and the Drive to Wanaka

I left my shampoo behind. End of the highlights. (Wordplay)

Nah. We made a decent breakfast and packed up.

It was a 45 minute lakeside drive out to Mt. Cook. We were doing the Hooker Valley Track, which was an easy 3hr walk. I had found it on a top 10 list of things to do on the South Island. Boom. Poles and rain jackets were at the ready.

It was another well-kept track, but definitely the most crowded I’d walked in NZ.

Zack & Hannah at Mueller Lake

Mt. Cook was used as Mordor in Lord of the Rings and you could definitely see it. It was a gloomy day and the damp greenery combined with murky water made for a dramatic setting.

Even with the heavy dose of picture breaks, we made it back to the car in 3 hours. We gobbled down lunch and hit the road again. Off to Wanaka.

We had some good car conversation before Zack and Hannah dozed off. This would become a recurring theme. I will acquire photos.

The thing about New Zealand is, there are some stretches of road without a service station for a while. I knew this and had already had a low fuel scare so I was looking to play it safe.

Shortly into our drive we passed a small town and a sign that had distances for a mountain pass and the next two townships we’d be passing. No problem. There’s gotta be another small place with fuel before the climb up the pass.

Spoilers: There wasn’t.

After we’d gone about 30km and most of the way up Lindis Pass, the fuel light came on.

Not again, you dummy. Playing it safe usually means being overly cautious. So by ‘safe,’ I meant living on the edge.

I waited a bit for the other two to wake up. I didn’t want to worry them, but at some point I’d have to come clean.

We were all holding our breath. I coasted down the mountain so hard. I was acting like the gas pedal didn’t exist. Camper vans and trucks were whizzing past us.

We got down the mountain and kept hoping the next town would be around every corner.

Spoilers: It wasn’t.

There weren’t even signs updating us on how much farther we had to go. I was sure we’d be sputtering to a halt and flagging someone down any minute. The math in my head was telling me we’d gone almost 80km to whatever town was on the last sign.

Finally, we saw a community center. Where there’s enough civilization to warrant a community center, surely there must also be petrol. Shortly up the road we got to the country store that had it. Insane! No doubt we were rolling up on fumes.

Of course we had to go through the whole rigmarole of the payment station not accepting our cards. The clerk was closing up shop but allowed us to use her card in exchange for cash. I still don’t know why foreign cards don’t work at those things.

Either way, the important part is that we got our desperation gas and were able to carry on relatively unscathed.

By the time we got to Wanaka it was raining pretty heavily. Conditions made the tree in the lake a bit less picturesque, unfortunately.

After a brief stop to see it, we went to settle in and clean up at our respective hostels.

We had enough time to get to Rhyme & Reason Brewery before they closed. Zack enjoyed a tasting tray and ended up buying a bottle. Then we had to solve the age old dilemma of where to eat dinner. We ended up picking The Federal Diner, which was hidden down an alley way but likely the best meal we had the whole trip. Spirits were high. It was a good night and we were ready for the next adventure.

I was on the way back to my hostel when I got a message from Ellen, the Swedish lass I met up with back in Picton. She was also in Wanaka and looking for something to do.

I joined her for a walk around the town, which was silent. After chatting for a while, I invited her to join us on our activities the following day and through to Queenstown. She was interested and said she’d let me know.

Before bed, I got a message saying she was in.

Day 3 – Diamond Lake, Free Wine and onto Queenstown

We convened for breakfast in the morning. I quickly learned how important coffee is to Zack and Hannah’s daily routine. They got the goods.

Next, we went to the i-Site to sort out which walk we were going to do. There were so many in the area that it was difficult to decide.

Once we had our plan of attack we picked up Ellen. The track was just a short drive out of town so getting there was quick. We got a good start and the walk was awesome.

Another 3 hour track – Diamond Lake to Rocky Mountain Summit. There was a little bit of a climb but nothing too serious. There were several viewpoints looking back toward Wanaka over the lake and land. Rather spectacular for how little we worked for it.

On our way out, we stopped at Rippon Vineyards. It was supposed to have good wine and awesome views, which it did. They were setting up for a wedding though. The venue price for this place must’ve been a pretty penny. I mean, seriously. The tasting room was still open, however, and the wine tasting was free/donation-based…toight.

Rippon Vineyard

Pinot Noir is the main grape grown in the Otago region. That worked because in the rare event that I’m drinking wine over beer, I do prefer reds. They did have this one that was a rare white grape that barely anybody in the world produces – Osteiner, I think. The bartender said that it was cheap but it might’ve been my favorite. No surprise with my simple palate.

After taking in the wine and the views, we ate lunch on the grounds. We literally sat on the ground and made sandwiches. Then we drove through to Queenstown.

Zack was geeking out on the approach. To be fair, driving through Frankton is extremely pretty with the way the houses are stacked up onto Lake Wakatipu.

We dropped Ellen off at her hostel and checked into ours. It was nice getting there in the late afternoon so we had some time to wander around.

I’d been around Queenstown enough during my previous visit to act as a de facto tour guide.

Tacos on a Boat

We got some delicious tacos and ate them on a floating boat bar. Zack geeked out again — I believe saying it was the coolest thing he’s ever done? Don’t get me wrong, Perky’s is moored right on the water in the middle of the city. The views were pretty exceptional. But, the fact that the boat had a bathroom on board took it over the top for Zack.

We were getting into a really good pocket of conversation when two young, insanely drunk local dudes came up and forced themselves onto our table.

One of them was somehow Brazilian, Japanese and Kiwi…with purple hair. We weren’t really sure how to parse that all out but he did a lot of talking and clearly had the whole world figured out. Told us some tale of his friend getting stabbed with a screwdriver.

The other guy was incoherent, from Punjab and dropped my camera.

It was an agonizing and endless waiting game for them to finish their drinks and move on. Somehow, we all endured and told them we were heading back to our rooms.

I checked my camera and noticed the viewfinder was no longer focusing. That really capped off the encounter. I later found out there was a diode I could adjust to dial it back in to be usable.

In the moment though, we were all bitter. That ignited a spark to go for another beverage.

We met up with Ellen at a western-themed bar called Cowboys, mainly because they had tabletop shuffleboard.

That dumbass experience was still in the back of my mind, plus karaoke was happening which was grating. Although the guys were killing it, honestly. One dude did like a 3-song set of 90s rap — “No Diggity” being the highlight.

We crushed some games and beers and moved onto another bar that I knew had cheap drinks. It just so happened that the terribles were also there. Thankfully they were too drunk to notice us so we skated by and had a few more beverages.

To end the night, we got Fergburger. It’s a Queenstown institution that usually has an insane line all the time. We got there and felt it was destiny because there wasn’t one. I heard a local walk past and say “Never seen that before,” in her amazing accent.

It’s tough to conclude whether the burgers are amazing or not under the circumstances. Regardless, it hit the spot and was a good way to conclude the evening.

The next day we had a summit to tackle. Depending.

Facing Fears, Drinking Beers

I saw lights flashing behind me.

I was going slower than the guy in front of me and I didn’t think I was speeding. I slowed down. The cop swerved around me and flew toward the car ahead.

That guy refused to pull over. I thought maybe it was a stolen car or something. There was a brief second where I wondered if it was a very low-key, medium speed chase.

Finally he got over to the side. I approached with caution.

The cop quickly got out of his car and asked me to make my way to the shoulder as well.

Shit.

Thankfully I had my international driving permit nearby. He came to my car first and told me the reason — too fast in a work zone. I didn’t see the temporary limit signs but it registered when he said it. 86 in a 50. Brutal.

Luck was on my side because I caught him on a good day. He gave me a warning, wrote down my information and then sent me on my way.

Epic. That means I escaped about a $400 citation, plus whatever fees the rental company would tack on.

Sigh of relief. Short happy dance. Continued onto Wanaka.

I was reaching an area of the South Island that was meant to be the most beautiful. Wanaka, Queenstown, and Fiordland National Park arguably have the best views in the whole country.

The main city center of Wanaka is nestled nicely on a lake surrounded by some gorgeous snow-capped mountains in the background. I mean, a pretty unbeatable view really. Pictures don’t do justice to how picturesque the setting was. Wait, what?

Wanaka

They don’t though.

I checked out downtown quickly (because it’s only a few blocks) and splurged on a burger and beer to celebrate the completion of the Copland Track. I was in desperate need of a shower and some sleep. Of course in my sweaty, haggard state I was greeted at my Hostel’s reception by a stunning Canadian girl.

I fell asleep in the shower, before my head even hit the pillow.

The mixed metaphor fits.

Working at Rhyme & Reason

There are so many walks around Wanaka. Probably enough to fill up two full weeks. Unfortunately, my knee was destroyed so I decided to find the nearest brewery and catch up on some things.

I did walk there since it wasn’t all that far away. Felt it every step of the way. Dammit.

After sampling some of the local suds, I walked along the lake to the infamous tree. There is a hashtag and social media campaign for this tree; it’s that popular. Admittedly, it is pretty sweet to look at. Again with that insane background.

#thatwanakatree

Sunset Dock

I got takeaway dinner and ate it out by the water as the sun went down. Righteous food and scenery combo, without question.

The following day I checked out. No fond farewell from my Canadian princess, sadly. Instead, I was onto Queenstown.

It was a short drive, so I stopped in Arrowtown on the way. An old gold mining town with a few leftover relics. The signage and setup were cool. Nice vibe, but not enough going on to make for a long stay there.

Arrowtown

I ate my lunch outside at a park and enjoyed the sun. It was a return to ole faithful — the ham and cheese sandwich.

Entering Queenstown seemed like an actual city, which was new. It’s actually only slightly bigger than Wanaka, and also has a few streets that wrap around a lake. Again, incredibly majestic with snow-capped mountains lining the backdrop.

What I didn’t know was there was an international marathon that weekend. Makes sense why I couldn’t find a room for 4 consecutive nights.

Queenstown

I was still on the shelf with the knee issue, so hiking remained postponed. Just walking around Queenstown was somewhat of a challenge, but it was energizing to see all of the sweet laneways with shops, restaurants and cafes. I had a long list of recommended places to try. It was obvious I was going to blow my budget but I was ok with it.

After a decent day of exploring the nooks and crannies I got ready for an evening beer tour. It was a guided bus thing that took a group around to a few breweries to sample the goods — or so I thought.

I got to the pick up spot and it was just me. Literally, I was the only one on the entire tour. I got to ride in the front seat at least?

The guide, Lewis, looked a bit like mustache-era James Franco. He started up the business by himself and was running all of the trips. Something I really appreciated. Being solo on the thing did make interactions with the brewers a tad awkward though.

At our first stop, some employees from the next stop showed up and sat with us. Kept it from being a blind bro-date. Part of the reason I booked the thing was to socialize with others, so this would have to do..

All in all, I had a good saison and sweet, sweet canyon views.

It was still early when I got back to town so I looked for something to do. I found a place that was doing happy hour with $5 pizzas. Deece. They also had a wet T-shirt contest between two guys and one girl. Hmm…

The next day, it rained the whole time. Shocker.  After I switched hostels and stuff, I pulled the trigger on booking one of the more adventurous things I’ve ever done in my life — a canyon swing and zip line.

The promo video for this thing looked tasty. The zip line is the first/only(?) of its kind. A 5 meter free fall combined with a zip across the canyon. The swing was about a 70m free fall with a 200m swing at the bottom. Goo.

I had nightmares about the height. Looking over the edge and being terrified. I’m not a huge fan of high things but I had to do something like this while I was here.

The morning came and it was shaping up to be an awesome day. The drive up to the place was on a sketchy, windy road. The appetizer.

The group got harnessed up, went through all of the safety stuff and then it was time to face some fears.

Running and flipping off the ledge seemed like the way to go. I was wondering if my legs would just stop working halfway down the ramp and I would limply roll off like a chump. As counterintuitive as it is to run off a cliff, I managed to do it without over thinking.

The transition from jump to swing was silky and the view, combined with the feeling of gliding over the canyon was glorious. My GoPro decided to shut itself off right before I jumped which was super sweet. Couldn’t make the same mistake on the swing.

There’s a ton of different ways you can do it. I decided on backwards as it was supposed to be one of the scariest. Secretly, I was like how does that make sense? You’re not looking at the ground come rushing at you.

The jump masters were two dudes that help get you into position while taking the absolute piss. The kind of thing where one guy asks for a double-check on the safety hookup and the other guy says “it’s probably fine.” They explained how to do backwards very quickly while I was already hanging off the edge and they were barely hanging on to me. Then they said it was up to me and let go. That caught me completely off guard so I immediately forgot the protocol which is why I ended up doing some back flips on the way down. I should have known when I saw them say “we’re going to give you a countdown” and released the person before any numbers were said. It was still badass.

Would be pretty hard to top that experience, but that night I signed up for an organized bar crawl. I was looking for a little bit of social redemption from the brewery tour and I found a deal for just $10.

I’ll sum it up by saying either the night life in Queenstown is good or I’m getting really old. We got a half shot at every place we went (5 bars), got to skip the lines, and also got discounted drinks. Oh yeah, the bars are also open til 4am.

Everybody on the crawl seemed to be young. I met some early 20s dudes from the Faroe Islands that were stoked. They have a name for a tequila shot + jager bomb but, unsurprisingly, I forget what it is. I’m honestly not sure how many jager bombs were had.

After a few hours of crowded dancing, there came a point where I hit my wall and had to call it.

The next morning I got a slow start. Scheduling a bar crawl the night before you have to check out and leave town probably isn’t the smartest. Thankfully I could take my time getting to Te Anau.