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August 12, 2019August 12, 2019

So This is Nightlife

Three nights in a row. Or should I say three mornings in a row?

Berlin is well known for its incredible club scene. I’ve heard from many people across my travels that Berlin’s nightlife is the best in Europe. There’s one particular spot, Berghain, that has a party from Friday night until Monday morning — yes, non stop — with a 3 hour long queue and a notorious bouncer named Sven who refuses entry to people that he doesn’t “see potential in.” It’s like that. Even with this insight, I could never be fully prepared for what I was about to experience.

I arrived on a Monday evening with a reservation for a few nights. I didn’t have to be in Poland for a week so I wanted to see what the vibe was before booking a ton of days.

The first night was quiet. Settling in.

I met two Kiwi girls in my hostel dorm and went on a walking tour with them on Tuesday morning. This was me essentially knocking out the tourist attractions quickly: the Brandenburg Gate, the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, Hitler’s Bunker (which is now fittingly a parking lot and place for dogs to shit), Checkpoint Charlie and a few other squares with either cathedrals or historical buildings. I went to the Museum Island without entering any of the museums, then I went to Alexanderplatz to find the rest of the tourists.

I got back to the hostel in the early evening. That’s when the party train started pulling away from the station.

The two Kiwis and I played some drinking games with a group of 3 Canadians. The night got away from us a bit as we took a field trip to a weird park that’s well known for people buying drugs. It was kind of a strange night, but I could tell there was fun to be had so I extended my room to make it a full week.

The following day was spent doing life admin I’m pretty sure. Then in the afternoon, things got going again. Several 2 for 1 Carlsbergs were involved. Eventually it came time to decide on a next move. The general consensus was going to a park to continue drinking beers. The two Kiwis had an alternate plan. They wanted to go to some “sex club” with a “creative” dress code. I had no idea what any of this meant. Though I was hesitant at first, I found myself throwing on my elephant pants from Thailand and an inside out tank top. I figured it would be a spectacle if nothing else.

As we were assembling outside, 3 new people spontaneously joined us. Kal (Singapore) had just arrived at the hostel and basically only had time to drop his bag off. Felipe (Brzil) and Jie (China) also gladly accepted the invitation for a night out.

The thing is, we had no idea what Kit Kat was about. I don’t think any of us took time to interpret what a “sex club” was. When we got to the location, we saw a small line of people waiting to get in. Most of them were dressed in leather. It was only a short wait before we were standing in front of an imposing female bouncer in a fetish-like get up. We were nearly turned away as the others looked a little too normal for the erotic/creative entry requirement. I went in not knowing if they would be following after me. As I finished paying the door fee and “coat-checking” my shirt and cell phone, I noticed them come through the door. Sweet.

And then…wow. It was indeed a spectacle. “Erotic” is an accurate word. I guess. But I think it short changes the situation. Throughout the various rooms of this club, you could easily find nudity, a toy station (with active whipping and mild electrocution), drugs being blatantly sold in the bathroom, a pool for skinny dipping, and various dark corners where people were unabashedly having sex. My entire group was blown away.

Not physically.

We met a girl from Korea named Robin who hung out with us the entire night. Felipe and Jie left after about two hours of dancing. The whole thing was a bit of a blur. What I do know is that I got back to my room at 8am in time to see off the two Kiwi girls who inspired the entire excursion. Apparently they left at 3:30am and went to a different club.

I’m curious if I’ll ever have an experience that shocking and entertaining ever again in my life. Insane.

Since I didn’t really go to bed until around 10:30am and it was completely light out and hot as hell on the 4th floor of this hostel, I only really slept for a couple of hours.

I went downstairs and wandered around the grocery store where nothing looked appetizing. I returned to the hostel and posted up on the patio beanbag chairs. Gradually, the group reconvened, with a few additions here and there. For hours, we did nothing but sit there and chat.

As was becoming tradition, there was a clarion call for evening plans. Even though we were mostly sober, it was time to hit the town again. The familiar 4 of myself, Kal, Felipe and Jie were joined by Robin and Hassan (India). Matrix was the first stop of the night as that was probably the most popular option by word of mouth. It was also the cheapest to get into.

And, there was probably a reason for that. I thought it pretty much sucked. There were 3 different rooms with different music but it was all such a generic and uninteresting vibe. Of course we were coming off a gnarly first foray into Berlin clubs, but this wouldn’t have even been good for Richmond. Hyperbolically harsh, maybe, but I’m going with it.

Somehow we managed to remain for a few hours. Our crew thinned out to just me, Kat and Robin. We decided to bounce over to another spot. We’d been told great things about another nearby place called Suicide Circus. At this point, I think it was 4am. We went and stood in a 30 minute queue before entering.

Once we got in, we realized it was a pride event, possibly to kick off the festivities for the weekend. The music situation was much better, which meant we trance-ally techno’d out for another couple of hours.

After we snapped out of it and/or were too tired to continue moving our feet, we stepped out into the daylight like vampires into the sun. Another 8am outing. Seemed like I always had 30,000 steps from all of the dancing. Hilarious.

Essentially repeat the new night routine that was now happening in the morning.
Sleep for 2 hours. Zombie through the grocery store. Slump into a beanbag chair.

The Carlsbergs came out at some point in the afternoon, which was now rebranded “morning.” Brendan and Jayden (New Zealand) entered the fray. There ended up being a group of about 9 that joined forces to rule some Friday night activities. Where the energy was coming from, I have no idea.

Watergate was our primary destination — another club with a reputation for being selective. We received what I would characterize as a mild, but fair talking to before being allowed in by the bouncer. I think he let us in mostly because the real party hadn’t kicked off yet. Either way, we were in.

The set up was a medium-sized room on the main floor and a cozy dance floor on the ground level. The unique factor was that there was one wall of all glass behind the DJ so you could look out and see the illuminated city on the river. There was also a deck outside whenever it was time for a breather.

There were two particular DJs that crushed their sets and showered the crowd with silky vibes. While this was happening, around 5am, you could see the orange of the sunrise starting to crest over the buildings. It put.a smile in my heart and on my face. Euphoria. The ecstasy probably helped too.

A new DJ started at 7am and by that time, the group was fading. As we started to head out, people were filtering in to begin their after parties. Dear God, this is real life somewhere in the world, and it’s called Berlin.

Thus concludes the tale of clubbing three consecutive nights until 8am.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t feeling miserable. At least in my mind. Realistically, my physical state was probably something akin to a wet rag that’d been tossed into some dank corner to dry all wrinkled and crusty. Description bonus.

If you had to guess, what do you think I did the next day?

The correct answer would be beanbag main stay for like 10 hours. The most unfortunate thing was that Kal had forgotten to extend his room and didn’t have a bed. When we got back, he had to pack his stuff and check out. He didn’t get to sleep at all, which is devastating. I couldn’t even imagine. Berlin took it out of him so much that he ended up buying a plane ticket back to Singapore for the next morning.

Suddenly, it was just me and Felipe. He left early the following morning and then I was solo again. They days evaporated in a flash.

I felt it then and I feel it now — that lifestyle is not sustainable. Obviously. For all the incredible cultural movements and openness Berlin has, I couldn’t move there due to the fact that the nightlife would be an unrelenting siren. I think I know myself pretty well and my current assessment is that I wouldn’t be able to harness the proper amount of self-control needed to manage the weekends out. It’s just too enticing and captivating. Even writing this now is making me want to go back and explore all of the other clubs we didn’t get to. Dangerous.

By the way, that’s not all I did in Berlin. I managed to somehow fit in a walking tour about the Third Reich and another one about street art and counter culture. I learned a lot of facts about the SS and David Bowie that I’ve subsequently forgotten. Oops.

I spent my last day admiring the East Side Gallery and casually strolling around listening to music. I was in a totally content state, replaying the tornado of unbelievable moments while the tram lines and green domes of the city dotted my environment.

Toward the end of the day, a huge rain storm rolled in. A classic literary trope that washed everything away and presented me a clean slate for a new adventure. That week in Berlin won’t be so easily erased, though.

June 26, 2019June 26, 2019

Beer, with a Side of Music and Culture

When did we first get to Brussels? The end of May. Wow. Can’t believe it’s been that long already.

Andrew and I got off our bus and met up with a few people at the AirBnB where our group of 15 would call home for the weekend. It was a very eccentric place. There were a lot of mannequins and old time knickknacks everywhere. Interesting decor choices for sure.

Jud and his band mates arrived a few hours later. After a few beers at the apartment, we went out to find some food at Hip Square, a semi-central hangout place with a bunch of restaurants and bars surrounding Saint Catherine’s cathedral. It was a popular spot, with tables and people spilling out into the cobblestone area. As it was still light out until almost 11pm, we stayed there for a while before heading back.

A few of us hung out in the sketchy street catching up when the final group of festival goers arrived. Time went on and we eventually got chastised for making too much noise so we turned in.

The band were first to leave in the morning and then our clan of 9 got breakfast and caught the train out to Zottegam. We disembarked, and had a 30 minute trek through the small town. As we were walking, Erin and I ran into an older gentlemen who was curious where we were from. He was a resident who was sometimes a guest professor at UVA. It really is a small world. We continued down some neighborhood streets and dissected a few wheat fields before finally ending up at Dunk!Festival.

We had about 6 hours to spend between the main stage and the forest stage until Gifts From Enola played. It was a small festival but a pretty cosy setup. The band did an interview for the local radio station and then had fans coming up to them saying very complimentary things. One guy from Spain said they changed his life and got him into the entire post rock genre of music. A loyal follower since the MySpace days. Incredible on all accounts.

When it came time for them to play, it was epic. The sound was solid, the performance was great and the light show was ridiculously on point. Really good crowd turnout and support as well. I felt proud to know them. Unfortunately we had to hurry out to catch the last train back to Brussels without being able to congratulate the band. They were able to stay overnight and enjoy themselves.

The next day our group of misfits started with a Belgian waffle and had an impromptu tour of a few notable city sights — Grand Place and Manneken Pis to be specific. The little boy peeing is really little. He was dressed up for us though, which is something.

We hung out in a park until we were joined by Gifts. After a few hours chilling, we wandered back to Hip Square and split our time between a few different seafood restaurants and beer joints. Brown bars are a Belgian staple — kind of a dive bar, but known for their old wooden construction, dim light and smelly toilets. This wording comes from a city map, but I can verify. The insane thing is each beer was served in a specialized, branded glass for that particular beverage. At every bar. That’s dedication. And an 8.5% tripel was €3.80, which would’ve easily been $8 in the US. Sauce.

The following morning, the group separated into smaller factions and departed for different destinations. Andrew and I hung out with the band until the afternoon as they were the last to leave.

Once we said our goodbyes, we caught the metro down to the southwest part of the city and did a self-guided tour of Cantillon, a 100+ year old brewery using open air fermentation to make lambics. Read: more Belgian beer. Then we returned to the city center and walked around for a bit. We had some insane sandwich called a mitraillette for dinner (hamburger + fries on a baguette), a sweet waffle for dessert, and ended with a flaming absinthe shot at Delirium Village.

Andrew’s flight back to Richmond was the following afternoon — a sad departure. We had an awesome time clowning around. It would’ve been awesome to keep it rolling for another week. Or indefinitely. Whichever.

I spent the subsequent days catching up on some things and trying to arrange my future plans.

I was lucky to meet two generous girls, Amanda (a Canadian working in Belgium) and Aline (a Belgian, well, living in Belgium). Look at you helping me out, Tinder.

I hung out with Amanda a few times, mostly just working and chatting. We went out for a meal of signature Belgian dishes once. I had the Flemish stew, which was ballin. It also happened to be a place that served this beer where the recipe had been lost for 200 some years, so that was a bonus. She charged the entire dinner to her company as well. Extra bonus.

Aline and I met for a few beers one night and got late night frites. She very kindly welcomed me to couchsurf at her place for a few days, a helpful break for my travel finances. Very lucky situation. We watched some movies and the Women’s World Cup and snacked. One night, we went to watch a band at a microbrewery. Beer again. She was fun and open to hosting me longer, but her twin sister was returning from a year and a half abroad, so I thought they should have a chance to spend some time together.

This inspired me to take a 3 day trip to Ghent. It was a short train ride away. A very medieval, historical city that was active from the university there. I went on an evening walking tour my first night to get a bit of the backstory and significance of some landmarks. I learned that Ghent, through Charles V, was basically in control of almost all of Western Europe in the 1500s. Though a lot of the buildings were from that era, most of their facades had been refurbished sometime during the 20th century. Still, there was a castle, several cathedrals and an infamous bell tower which all looked outstanding.

The weather ended up being miserable for my last two days there, but I got a 48-hour city pass to grant me access to the cultural places. I visited two of the art museums, the design museum, the industry museum where they showcase the history of their textile and graphic design processes. I got a bird’s eye view of the city from the top of the Belfort and was able to scope The Mystic Lamb in St. Bavo Cathedral, which is the most stolen piece of art in the world. Unfortunately, I was a few minutes too late to enter the castle, and I missed out on the boat ride due to rain. I crammed a good amount of activities into the two days though. Definitely made the pass worth it.

Overall, my Belgian experience was largely a tour of beer, with a bit of music and culture sprinkled in. Bruges and Antwerp will have to wait until next time.

After Ghent, I went back to Amsterdam to stay with Joyce, who I met in Bali. I wasn’t exactly sure how long it was going to be but I was hoping to stretch it until the 25th of June. I ended up falling into another lucky situation. Through her amazing group of friends, I was hooked up with an apartment and a bike of my own for an entire week.

So, over the course of the 11 days, there was a lot of cycling, an after party with perfect vibes, a free canal cruise, a basketball tournament, a Couchsurfing meet up, and more general exploration. If this is the way my travels go for the next few months, I might have to quit while I’m ahead. Way ahead.

I’m trying to pinpoint what the universe is balancing out with this run of good fortune. There was that one scam in Bali. But I’m not sure if that was horrific enough to warrant this amount of positive action. Or, maybe it’s house money and I’m due for some bad luck in the future. I’m not going to be that pessimistic. I’ll just accept that things are working out for me right now and continue to ride the wave.

January 16, 2019June 26, 2019

The Birth of MegaPrime…and FIPPL

I had to hustle off the bus and into a safety briefing for the Fraser Island excursion because I was already late. I think the entire group was waiting on me.

There was a group of 26 people that got split into 3 cars.

Car #3
Aida (England)
Kirsty (Scotland)
Marvin (Germany)
Max (Germany)
Nathan (USA)
Sabine (Netherlands)
Sonja (Germany).

A good mix. We worked through a few rounds of paperwork and a horrendously old 12 minute long informational video. Then most people went their separate ways to sort out the alcohol and snacks they were going to bring.

Aido
MegaPrime 4×4
Down & Up the Dunes

All 26 of us reconvened around 6am the next morning to grab a quick breakfast and pack up our vehicles. That’s when we also met our guide, Aido, who endearingly referred to us as “critters” the entire trip.

Our SUVs were equipped with very necessary 4wd, an AUX cable so everybody could DJ, and a CB radio to communicate with the convoy.

Fraser Island is the world’s largest sand island and stretches over 120km. There’s very little infrastructure, so it’s mostly camping. To get around, you’re either driving on the beach or some incredibly sandy and bumpy paths.

Aida volunteered to take the first driving shift which seemed to be a fun one. She got to load us onto the ferry and do a bit of inland driving right off the bat because it was high tide. Ended up being a pretty good chunk of time which the group used to start getting to know each other.

Our first destination was Lake McKenzie. It was a beautiful, crystal clear natural lake. For my money, I think this was the best stop. We all took a dip in the water which was the perfect temperature. The sad part was that we didn’t get to spend much time there. But, on the bright side, this is where we settled on the name of our vehicle: MegaPrime. It was a mixture of Megatron and Optimus Prime (the best parts of the good and the bad) and also the new Amazon delivery option we invented. When you choose MegaPrime shipping, your item is delivered to you immediately upon payment. Let us know how much you’re willing to buy that Service Mark for, Besos.

Everybody was hungry and the next stop was lunch, so at least we were getting to satisfy that urge. On this leg of the drive, Car 2 started to develop a reputation of being the black sheep of the group. “You’re too far to the left Car 2!” It was a common refrain, followed by an abyss of silence on the CB and no adjustment of course.

In the deep sand, it was important to follow the existing tracks and avoid oversteering the car. There are plenty of people that have gotten bogged or flipped from fighting what the car naturally wanted to do. It was sort of comically tense for a minute but thankfully it all worked out.

We arrived at Central Station, the old logging hub, and set up a wrap buffet. Wraps. We got to know them very well as that was our lunch for all 3 days. I think everybody wrote that down on the feedback form.

In any case, the entire group got a chance to mingle and then go on a walk through the forest. There was a creek that was practically invisible because of how clear it was. The short loop track brought us back to the pavilion and then we headed out.

We made it to basecamp in the early afternoon where Aido gave us the lay of the land and a brief talk about snakes, spiders, and other animals we might encounter. Everybody claimed a tent, unpacked some gear, and gathered back up to crack the first beer.

The majority of us went for a stroll up a large sand dune to watch the sunset. There was initially some worry about clouds, but it ended up being a solid one.

Once we got back to camp, we fired up the BBQ and had community dinner. There were card games, lots of chatting and all the good stuff associated with group bonding. Several hours into the night, a small group went for a quick walk to the beach to look at the stars. The sky was brilliant without any light pollution and you could clearly make out the Milky Way. It ended up being a relatively tame evening by the time we were all zipped into our tents and ready for bed.

Personally, I got a pretty shit night of sleep. First off, it was smotheringly hot. There wasn’t really a way to ventilate the tent because you had to keep out the bugs. And that was the second reason I was partially on edge the whole evening. The spider talk was in the back of my mind and I found a weird cricket trying to share rent just before I turned off my headlamp for the night.

I was half conscious when our 7am wake up reggaeton started playing. It took the group around an hour and a half to have breakfast and get ready to depart for our day 2 activities.

It was the best day.

First we drove for a while on the beach to a spot called Champagne Pools. The rocks and waves created a pool like formation that you could swim in. Or you could stand out on the edge and attempt to get swept away by a rogue wave crashing on the rocks. Most people just chilled and watched the “swoosh” happen.

Next we went for a short walk up Indian Head to a cliff outlook with awesome panoramic views. We realized pretty quickly that it was a well-crafted green screen and Dolby 8.12 surround sound. I think that was the number. It still looked really amazing for being fake so we didn’t let it disrupt our experience.

Then we did a quick scoot back to camp to have lunch. Obviously wraps. Before we left on our next adventure, somebody found a huntsman in their tent. Aido picked it up and a few people had a run letting it crawl on them. Gnarly.

Once that excitement died down, we made our way to Eli Creek which was kind of a lazy river. I mean, it was really lazy in the fact that it couldn’t be bothered to be high enough to easily float down it on a tube. It also was pretty short and crowded. Still a chill situation with awesome weather.

Two groups took a quick plane ride around the island. It was a tiny little prop guy that took off and landed on the beach. By all accounts, it was worth the $60 price of admission.

On the way back to camp, we stopped at a shipwreck to scope out the rusted SS Maheno. It was nifty to see the skeleton of a ship so close up. I wonder how many years it’ll take to completely rust it away.

For dinner, it was a group effort to cut up a bunch of veggies and get a bolognese together.

As it was the last night, it was the go hard night. Miracles happened that night, some would say. They would mainly be talking about the creation of the world’s newest and carb-friendliest drinking game — PastaPong — and the league that supports it. CLICK HERE for a list of the official rules.

That’s what happens when you combine alcohol, a huge community table and a bunch of leftover penne.

The night digressed a bit from there. Although we did make up a game for cleaning up the errant pasta. There was never a chance it was going to last long enough to get it all though.

After a few other miscellaneous games, there was a good vibe at the campfire. Xavi, a guy from Barcelona, was playing some songs on his guitar, as is fitting, and everybody was digging the situation. At some point Aido came down and was crushing some tunes as well. There were some good jams and I think marshmallows? I didn’t catch that part.

Gradually, the group petered out. A small contingency went to find the party beach but got lost along the way and ended up stargazing again.

I’m not sure how many people were ready for the 7am reggaeton alarm, but there it was again.

It was our last few hours on the island. We packed up our stuff and said goodbye to the campsite.

MegaPrime was sadly infiltrated by two people that wanted their chance to drive. We later found out that they weren’t even supposed to because they didn’t attend the briefing. Our convoy also got stopped and breathalyzed by the island police at one point, which Aido said was like the third time that had happened to his tour in 6 years or something.

Anyway, our only destination for the day was Lake Garawongera. It wasn’t as picturesque as Lake McKenzie, but it was substantially less crowded and offered us a great place to have a swim and chill.

We had our final round of wraps and drove to the ferry to be shepherded back to the main land.

We returned to the hostel around 4pm. The consensus was to keep it going with some dinner and more beer. We played a few games around a nonexistent campfire and made one last pilgrimage to the beach to check out the stars.

The next morning was bittersweet in that everybody was leaving. It was nice how everybody got up and was intent on seeing each other off though.

I was the last man standing, waiting on a 7pm bus.

What an amazing experience. It’s hard for me to rate Fraser Island based on the island though. I think it was really the group of people that made it such a worthwhile trip.

My two hopes are that we keep our Party Pippies Puppies chat alive for a long time and that my Whitsundays sailing excursion can somehow compete with this outing.

January 4, 2019January 4, 2019

Sydney Pt. 1

Sydney is not the capitol of Australia FYI. From what I heard, the rivalry between Melbourne and Sydney led to a compromise which saw Canberra receive the honors. I thought that was an interesting tidbit.

My bus had a quick pit stop in Canberra on the way to Sydney but I can’t say I saw much of it.

We arrived in Sydney around 930pm. The Central Station stop was right across the street from my hostel. Clutch. Sydney’s CBD was much more spread out than Melbourne’s but being by this hub was perfect.

I checked into my hostel, Wake Up!, and had a look around. It was a relatively new place with modern amenities. It had good reviews and reflected that in the cost.

I was in an 8-bed dorm. The first night I was woken up to a guy pissing on the floor at 6am. The last time I experienced something like that was in college. Bros. Ugh. My bag was so close to the danger area too. The dude checked out in a cloud of shame the next morning. Or he was just moving on anyway, but I’ll pretend.

A big benefit was that the hostel offered a free walking tour so I hopped on that. It was a big group and the tour took around 4 hours. I enjoyed the walking aspect and the places we stopped, but it was less informative than I thought it would be. Either way, it was a good intro to the city.

It was Friday and the adjoining bar was offering free drinks to hostel guests, so I capitalized on that. It seemed like watered down Goon (Australia’s Franzia). In any event, there was a limited amount so bottoms went up.

That led to a few hours of dancing. There was a DJ that played live saxophone along with a few songs. I hadn’t experienced that before. It made the set marginally more interesting.

The next morning there was another group walk to the Glebe Markets. At first I was underwhelmed by the amount of thrift clothing tents but then I found my jam. It was a guy making one-of-a-kind items from up-cycled materials. There were some fresh hats. Two for $50 which really wasn’t bad but I didn’t neeeeeeeed it. I did a few more laps around the market to see if it continued calling to me. I popped my head in a few more times but couldn’t pull the trigger.

I still want one.

I never got a card and don’t know what the shop was even called. Amateur hour. I did overhear the guy saying he was working on getting his website and Instagram accounts up and running. Damn. I may never find them again.

Regardless, I had somewhere to be that afternoon anyway. There was a pool party going down in Bondi. I was connected to this sitch through a friend of a friend (thanks, Makaye!). Stephany used to live in Richmond but has resided in Sydney for the last 2 years. She’d been advising me on cool shit to do and also invited me to hang out with her and her friends. One of whom, Maria, was in town from the US and formally lived in Richmond as well.

Pool. Party.

I was mad excited to chill at a pool with a group of people my age who were residents of the place. There was a BBQ, there was beer, there was sun and everybody was really nice to talk to. It was also an informal congratulatory party for Jules and Denise getting engaged.

I later ended up going back to their place to borrow some clothes from Jules to go out. He also took me on an impromptu tasting of some whiskeys and piscos. Incredibly fun and passionate people.

We rejoined the rest of the crew at a hoity-toity cocktail bar called Mrs. Sippy’s. Everybody there was paying someone to bleach their teeth and their assholes. Separate people, probably.

It wasn’t really that bad. But it kinda was. Also, the only piece of my outfit that belonged to me was my underwear. I’d like to think that played no part in my assessment of this bar.

Eventually, we moved to the Coogee Bay Hotel & Bar. As an aside, “hotels” are largely just bars. I don’t think they let drunk patrons sleep there, or anyone for that matter. I don’t know. Maybe they were all hotels during the Gold Rush but then converted to restaurant/bars at a certain point.

Either way, this place was massive. It had several bars, a live band with a dance floor, and a grill with some delicious looking sausages.

There was a moment where two of Stephany’s friends dragged me on the dance floor and told me that I had to enjoy this song because it was the most Australian song ever written. I have no idea what that song was. I recall it being relatively dad-rocky, but have no clue beyond that.

Around 3am, I decided it was time to head back. I got a bus card and rode that puppy home.

The following day was a Santa-themed pub crawl around Manly Beach. I caught the ferry out of the city in the early afternoon. On Sundays, it only costs $2.50 for unlimited public transportation which was sick. Nice to get that perspective of Sydney for so cheap.

Myself, Stephany, Maria and Marta lounged in the sand for a bit before donning our Santa gear. The girls all looked great and I looked ridiculous (on purpose). I was wearing a scandalous apron. Notice the strategically placed mistletoe.

The crawl began. Apparently it had been off to the races for a while. At the first bar we went to, which seemed completely chill, a chick vomited through her hand onto the floor. It was 2:15pm at best. Giddyup. The second place had music blasting and a saucy dance party happening insane. The line outside, however, which we were in, came to a stand still right when it was getting good (video doesn’t do it justice).

We went to another hotel (bar) and chilled on the balcony for a few beers and snacks before catching the ferry back to downtown. Stephany took Maria and I to a semi-classy rooftop spot with a solid view of the Opera House.

In case you were wondering, I was still wearing the apron. Two people were kind enough to mime some extremely sexual actions while I ordered my drink. It was an experience.

We ended the night by watching a holiday light show displayed on St. Mary’s Cathedral. It was a story for children about making friends or something. The voice actor had to do some weird singing and “meowing.” Nonetheless, a solid cap to the evening.

The following day I wandered around the city some more. I retraced a few of the walking tour steps to spend more time at a few places and checked out some carnivorous plants. Then I met up with Stephany and Maria to head to the fish market. It was almost closed, but we were able to snag a sushi donut for $10, which I’m told is a steal. I wasn’t familiar with the concept before. To clarify, it’s various types of sushi in the shape of a donut. There is no actual dough. The construction and taste were quite fantastic. I’d highly recommend if you’re ever in the area.

ANZAC Memorial
The Calyx #2
Sydney Fish Market

Next, we took a train over to Newtown, an artsy suburb, to walk around. That meant finding a brewery and getting a flight. I was in my element. The beer was aight. We went to yet another hotel and I got a local Strong Ale. Again, deece/sub-deece.

We made a plan to venture out to Blue Mountains in the morning, so we went back to our corners to rest up.

It was an early morning rendezvous at Central Station to catch a train to Katoomba. We had visions of doing a 3 hour trek around the Three Sisters before doing a 3 hour canyon walk. The guy at the information desk essentially laughed at us because there just wasn’t enough time in the day to complete it all.

Instead, we hit the lookout and also walked down to touch the Three Sisters. Then we went on some crazy track down the Furber Steps. Aptly named because there were so many steps.

Along the way, we heard a sonar-like ding, echolocation noise happening that was really bizarre. Turned out to be Bell Miners (birds), even though we couldn’t see them.

At a junction on the trail, we came to one of the strangest signs I’ve ever seen. There were two options that would both take 45 minutes — one was “medium” and the other “moderate.”

Very curious if there will be a clear consensus on this question.

Anyway, we chose the moderate path and continued on. I was leading the group and we walked through a section that was very much in the bush. I kept thinking that I was going to either get webbed and bitten by a spider or step on a snake. Thankfully none of those things occurred. We found a cozy picnic table under a canopy and had lunch before furiously climbing a shit ton of steps.

In the town of Leura, we had a victory drink and then boarded a train back to Sydney.

As Stephany napped, Maria and I had a solid conversation about spirituality, death and legacy.

I’m abusing polls now for some reason.

I walked back to my hostel as they caught their connecting train back to Steph’s flat. It was nice to do a decent walk in Australia. I’d been missing that since leaving New Zealand.

December 16, 2018December 16, 2018

Zack & Hannah’s Visit Pt. 1

I waited at the rental car counter for an hour. I was anxious because I had to drive back to the city to get my bags and then back out to the airport to scoop my people. They were already delayed a few hours so I couldn’t be late.

I was told the car was ready over the phone so didn’t expect such a long wait. Should’ve known. It seemed like the place only hired 12 year old blonde girls. I don’t necessarily have a problem with that as long as there’s enough on staff to see to the high volume of customers.

I got it, got my bags and got Zack and Hannah from the airport. Then we were off.

Our itinerary was pretty well planned out. At least our evening destinations were all booked, as well as a few excursions.

Day 1 – Driving to Twizel

It was about a 4hr drive from Christchurch to Twizel (‘i’ as a ‘y’ sound).

The best part was coming over a hill to see Lake Tekapo with Mt. Cook and a few others in the background.

We found a scenic lookout to pull over and snap some photos.

“It’s gonna be a gudday, mate.”
-Zack McDowell

And it was. We picked up some groceries for dinner and the next few days.

We were staying at an AirBnB that turned out to be epic. It was set up to be a ski lodge for a large group. Seemed a bit wasted on the 3 of us but no matter. We made a nice dinner and took advantage of the fire place and comfy sofas. Funny to think that we were probably knocking out our nicest accommodation on the first night. Oh well.

Z&H stayed up late enough for us to enjoy the digs (and hopefully avoid any major jet lag).

Day 2 – Our First Hike and the Drive to Wanaka

I left my shampoo behind. End of the highlights. (Wordplay)

Nah. We made a decent breakfast and packed up.

It was a 45 minute lakeside drive out to Mt. Cook. We were doing the Hooker Valley Track, which was an easy 3hr walk. I had found it on a top 10 list of things to do on the South Island. Boom. Poles and rain jackets were at the ready.

It was another well-kept track, but definitely the most crowded I’d walked in NZ.

Mt. Cook was used as Mordor in Lord of the Rings and you could definitely see it. It was a gloomy day and the damp greenery combined with murky water made for a dramatic setting.

Hooker Lake
Mt. Cook
Swing Bridge

Even with the heavy dose of picture breaks, we made it back to the car in 3 hours. We gobbled down lunch and hit the road again. Off to Wanaka.

We had some good car conversation before Zack and Hannah dozed off. This would become a recurring theme. I will acquire photos.

The thing about New Zealand is, there are some stretches of road without a service station for a while. I knew this and had already had a low fuel scare so I was looking to play it safe.

Shortly into our drive we passed a small town and a sign that had distances for a mountain pass and the next two townships we’d be passing. No problem. There’s gotta be another small place with fuel before the climb up the pass.

Spoilers: There wasn’t.

After we’d gone about 30km and most of the way up Lindis Pass, the fuel light came on.

Not again, you dummy. Playing it safe usually means being overly cautious. So by ‘safe,’ I meant living on the edge.

I waited a bit for the other two to wake up. I didn’t want to worry them, but at some point I’d have to come clean.

We were all holding our breath. I coasted down the mountain so hard. I was acting like the gas pedal didn’t exist. Camper vans and trucks were whizzing past us.

We got down the mountain and kept hoping the next town would be around every corner.

Spoilers: It wasn’t.

There weren’t even signs updating us on how much farther we had to go. I was sure we’d be sputtering to a halt and flagging someone down any minute. The math in my head was telling me we’d gone almost 80km to whatever town was on the last sign.

Finally, we saw a community center. Where there’s enough civilization to warrant a community center, surely there must also be petrol. Shortly up the road we got to the country store that had it. Insane! No doubt we were rolling up on fumes.

Of course we had to go through the whole rigmarole of the payment station not accepting our cards. The clerk was closing up shop but allowed us to use her card in exchange for cash. I still don’t know why foreign cards don’t work at those things.

Either way, the important part is that we got our desperation gas and were able to carry on relatively unscathed.

By the time we got to Wanaka it was raining pretty heavily. Conditions made the tree in the lake a bit less picturesque, unfortunately.

After a brief stop to see it, we went to settle in and clean up at our respective hostels.

We had enough time to get to Rhyme & Reason Brewery before they closed. Zack enjoyed a tasting tray and ended up buying a bottle. Then we had to solve the age old dilemma of where to eat dinner. We ended up picking The Federal Diner, which was hidden down an alley way but likely the best meal we had the whole trip. Spirits were high. It was a good night and we were ready for the next adventure.

Rhyme & Reason Brewery
The Federal Diner

I was on the way back to my hostel when I got a message from Ellen, the Swedish lass I met up with back in Picton. She was also in Wanaka and looking for something to do.

I joined her for a walk around the town, which was silent. After chatting for a while, I invited her to join us on our activities the following day and through to Queenstown. She was interested and said she’d let me know.

Before bed, I got a message saying she was in.

Day 3 – Diamond Lake, Free Wine and onto Queenstown

We convened for breakfast in the morning. I quickly learned how important coffee is to Zack and Hannah’s daily routine. They got the goods.

Next, we went to the i-Site to sort out which walk we were going to do. There were so many in the area that it was difficult to decide.

Once we had our plan of attack we picked up Ellen. The track was just a short drive out of town so getting there was quick. We got a good start and the walk was awesome.

Another 3 hour track – Diamond Lake to Rocky Mountain Summit. There was a little bit of a climb but nothing too serious. There were several viewpoints looking back toward Wanaka over the lake and land. Rather spectacular for how little we worked for it.

Behold Wanaka
A Man & His View
Tools of Ascension
Contemplative Hannah

On our way out, we stopped at Rippon Vineyards. It was supposed to have good wine and awesome views, which it did. They were setting up for a wedding though. The venue price for this place must’ve been a pretty penny. I mean, seriously. The tasting room was still open, however, and the wine tasting was free/donation-based…toight.

Pinot Noir is the main grape grown in the Otago region. That worked because in the rare event that I’m drinking wine over beer, I do prefer reds. They did have this one that was a rare white grape that barely anybody in the world produces – Osteiner, I think. The bartender said that it was cheap but it might’ve been my favorite. No surprise with my simple palate.

After taking in the wine and the views, we ate lunch on the grounds. We literally sat on the ground and made sandwiches. Then we drove through to Queenstown.

Zack was geeking out on the approach. To be fair, driving through Frankton is extremely pretty with the way the houses are stacked up onto Lake Wakatipu.

We dropped Ellen off at her hostel and checked into ours. It was nice getting there in the late afternoon so we had some time to wander around.

I’d been around Queenstown enough during my previous visit to act as a de facto tour guide.

We got some delicious tacos and ate them on a floating boat bar. Zack geeked out again — I believe saying it was the coolest thing he’s ever done? Don’t get me wrong, Perky’s is moored right on the water in the middle of the city. The views were pretty exceptional. But, the fact that the boat had a bathroom on board took it over the top for Zack.

We were getting into a really good pocket of conversation when two young, insanely drunk local dudes came up and forced themselves onto our table.

One of them was somehow Brazilian, Japanese and Kiwi…with purple hair. We weren’t really sure how to parse that all out but he did a lot of talking and clearly had the whole world figured out. Told us some tale of his friend getting stabbed with a screwdriver.

The other guy was incoherent, from Punjab and dropped my camera.

It was an agonizing and endless waiting game for them to finish their drinks and move on. Somehow, we all endured and told them we were heading back to our rooms.

I checked my camera and noticed the viewfinder was no longer focusing. That really capped off the encounter. I later found out there was a diode I could adjust to dial it back in to be usable.

In the moment though, we were all bitter. That ignited a spark to go for another beverage.

We met up with Ellen at a western-themed bar called Cowboys, mainly because they had tabletop shuffleboard.

That dumbass experience was still in the back of my mind, plus karaoke was happening which was grating. Although the guys were killing it, honestly. One dude did like a 3-song set of 90s rap — “No Diggity” being the highlight.

We crushed some games and beers and moved onto another bar that I knew had cheap drinks. It just so happened that the terribles were also there. Thankfully they were too drunk to notice us so we skated by and had a few more beverages.

To end the night, we got Fergburger. It’s a Queenstown institution that usually has an insane line all the time. We got there and felt it was destiny because there wasn’t one. I heard a local walk past and say “Never seen that before,” in her amazing accent.

It’s tough to conclude whether the burgers are amazing or not under the circumstances. Regardless, it hit the spot and was a good way to conclude the evening.

The next day we had a summit to tackle. Depending.