In Summary: Thailand

Somebody told me that Thailand was called “The Land of Smiles.” For the most part, it felt like that was only when people wanted something from me. I did encounter one smile in particular that was heart melting. I’m saving those details for the memoir though.

I suppose the smiles could still be a work in progress. Adult braces were popular. Same goes for nose jobs and fake boobs/gender modifications (ie ladyboys). I never had an in-depth conversation with a local about their take on that phenomenon. But the sex culture is so prevalent and open. I think Pattaya is the prostitution capital of the world. I was given a heads up to steer clear so am only able to speak anecdotally. I can, however, speak first hand to how Tinder was sort of categorized based on location.

  • Chiang Mai – Primarily girls working in massage parlors trying to get business.
  • Phuket – “Freelance” aka service girls.
  • Bangkok – Normal Tinder. Decent amount of matches that are pretty much dead ends.

On multiple occasions, I heard people mention so-and-so having a Thai girlfriend. Seemed like a common concept. I’m curious to get more insight on that and the ladyboy prevalence when I return. 

Along with orthodontists and plastic surgeons, 7-11 owners are making a killing. I’m highly considering becoming a franchise member. It would be a guaranteed passive income. In some places, there are stores directly across the street from one another. This is not an exaggeration. It’s a surefire investment.

Other miscellaneous observations:

  • Umbrellas are for sunny days.
  • They cut with spoons.
  • Vendors are less pushy than other neighboring countries.
  • The public transportation system was pretty good.
  • Thailand is a very strange shape.

I wasn’t as nomadic across the country as I would have liked to be. And I didn’t have all that much time to thoroughly digest a place. I missed out on a lot of activities for sure so perhaps I’ll have a longer list the next time I visit.

One of Thailand’s unique attributes is that it provides diverse landscapes and attractions. From the mountains and canyons of the north to the tropical beaches in the south, you could spend time trekking with elephants or boating to a picturesque and private blue water haven.

Wherever you prefer, there’s sure to be a temple nearby. Gold-wrapped and ornate, the wats in Thailand offered a unique Buddha or structure to help differentiate them from one another. Faith was strong and on display everywhere, down to a cashier bowing with praying hands to every customer. That’s what makes the promiscuity and sultry experimentation such an intriguing contrast.

Perhaps my biggest indulgence during my time in Thailand was the food. I neglected to take a cooking class, but I partook in enough street food to make up for it. The depth of flavor was extremely inviting. Curry and Pad Thai options were addictive — this coming from a person who didn’t rate any Thai cuisine before traveling. Khao Soi is a must try if you ever find yourself in Chiang Mai.

A piece of hearsay I became privy to was that tourism seemed to be slowing down. I was there during low season (and don’t have another trip to compare it to), so I can’t offer an opinion on that. I will say that the people seemed to be more confident and audacious. Perhaps that could be attributed to more exposure with foreigners. The integration of western concepts was much more seamless here than any other Asian country I’ve visited. The prices reflected that as well. Whether or not that changes with a fluctuating tourism industry, only time will tell.


By the Numbers

Days in Thailand: 15
Planes, Trains, and Buses: 8
Islands Visited: 5
Massages: 2
Street Food Meals: 12
Temples Visited: Lost Count
THB Spent: ~20,857.01
USD Spent: ~$662.74 (Conversion rate of 31.4709)

You can see my full cost breakdown here.


For those interested in visiting one day, here’s a list of where I went and how I ranked stuff:
(click the top left button of the map to expand the list view)


Favorite Attractions:
1. The Grand Palace
2. Koh Phi Phi
3. Doi Suthep
4. The Marble Temple
5. Wat Chedi Luang
6. Wat Pho
7. Koh Khai Nai
8. Khaosan Road/Bangla Road
9. The Golden Mount
10. The Big Buddha (Phuket)

Favorite Activities:
1. Street Food Sampling
2. Elephant Camp
3. Sak Yant Tattoo
4. Sunsets in Patong
5. Islands Tour
6. BBQ Buffet
7. Muay Thai Fights
8. Thai Massage
9. #9 Night Train to Chiang Mai
10. Tinder Meetups

Lastly, below is my “best of” album. This country has a lot more to offer than what I captured but hopefully I’ll be back when I’m a bit more advanced in my photography skills.

Balinese Introduction

Touch down in Asia. IndonAsia. Indonesia. Bali.

“Om Swastiastu.”

I was trying to learn popular phrases on the plane. Totally lost on pronunciation though.

We were a bit late arriving and it was 11pm before I was done with customs. I learned my lesson from New Zealand and pre-arranged a shuttle to my accommodation. It seemed like a particularly smart call at this hour until I walked out toward the pick up area and was immediately overwhelmed.

There were at least 50 drivers holding signs with names on them. Ooof. A needle in a hay stack.

I walked the line like a lost puppy a few times without seeing my name. Maybe my guy didn’t show or waited forever and thought I wasn’t coming? It was back to doing it on the fly. I made my way toward the exit. When I turned a corner, I saw another 100 drivers smushed together waving more signs.

Round 2.

After another bit of looking I found a guy with “Nathan.” Phew. I went up to him and he was taken aback. Ok. Turns out there are other Nathans out there. The search continued…

I pushed past 30 people trying to get me to take their overpriced taxi before I finally found my driver. We had to push back through everyone to get outside.

Things were so much different than anything I’ve ever experienced. The new country elements: people, architecture, sounds and smells.

On the ride to my hostel, I was even surprised by the streets, which seemed more like alleys. They were narrow and unassuming. With sharp curves, my driver was honking before going around the bends to let possible oncoming traffic know he was there.

I saw countless motorbikes manned by helmetless drivers. They were zooming everywhere, seemingly without a lane assignment, easily able to avoid the plethora of stray dogs obliviously meandering in the middle of the road. Traffic patterns on the whole were interesting to observe. I think we only had one stoplight the entire drive. Zero stop signs. Every intersection was a clustercuss that somehow got sorted without the need of signals or an obvious system. 

When we arrived at the hostel, I was still processing. I missed the sign asking me to remove my shoes before entering but did so quickly. It was a cozy spot tucked back off the main drag. There was a lot of bamboo. Wood and white.

During the check-in process, I got to deal with the currency for the first time, the Indonesian Rupiah, which is based in thousands. So a normal price for a large bottle of water is 10.000rp (72¢). I briefly thought about the fact that I was a billionaire here. Status.

I was shown up to my room, a relatively sterile 8-bed dorm. One thing that stood out immediately was the intense smell of mothballs. At least I wasn’t going to be swarmed by spiders in the night.

My bed was nice though. It had a lot of space, a privacy curtain, and a light + power outlet which is always clutch. I settled in for the night and figured I would wake up early the next morning to figure out my next move.

I woke up to gamelan playing — traditional Indonesian music featuring various percussive instruments. It was a pretty calming way to greet the day. I went downstairs for breakfast and did a bit of planning.

I was in Kuta, somewhat close to the airport, which I’d heard was just a busy place. Seminyak was on a few lists I’d researched and not too far away so I set my sights there. I made another hostel reservation and then was looking at transportation.

They don’t really have public transportation options here. Different. The most popular way to get around is to rent a scooter, which I was not feeling confident about after the initial ride in. I could also get a taxi or motorbike lift. Another option was Grab, an Uber equivalent.

I didn’t want to be exploited by a local this early in my trip, so I decided Grab was my best bet. A 20 minute ride ended up being around $2.86. Pretty killer. I learned later that it’s so cheap because they don’t have to pay any local taxes. However, they’re only allowed to operate in certain areas on the island. The Balinesian drivers are up in arms about it since they have allocate 30% of their fares to the government and helping the local village.

In any case, I got to Seminyak well before lunch and wanted to get out and have a look around the place. I also needed to pick up a new SIM at some point.I set my bags down and hit the street.

There was a market next door that I perused for like an hour because I was so fascinated by the products and prices. I was still trying to wrap my head around the value of the currency. I revisited each aisle about 3 separate times. The employees were probably questioning my sanity.

I was too. Always am.

Eventually I escaped the curiosity of barbecue steak-flavored Cheetos and walked the streets. The first thing I noticed was all of these little intricate incense trays on the ground in front of stores and scattered around shrines. There were hundreds and the contents of each one was unique. I saw some with cigarettes, others with candies or shots of juice.

Canang Sari

Canang sari is a daily offering to the Hindu gods that represents praise and prayer. It’s quite incredible how each household and shop owner obsessively prepare their little masterpiece each day. This is special to Bali too, as the majority of Indonesia is Muslim, not Hindu.

So after a few hours of wandering around, I was beginning to pick up the vibe. You could not walk by a single person without being offered a scooter rental or to have a look in their store. A couple I spoke to on the plane told me I would be sick of horns within a day. I certainly heard my fair share, whether it was actual traffic usage or trying to get me into their taxi. I appreciated it as part of the overall soundscape (in that moment at least).

The streets were lined with various fashion and furniture stores as well as restaurants and cafes. This is Seminyak’s main claim to fame I suppose. For a tourist on a normal holiday with room in their bag and a job to return to, they could acquire a lot for a little from these vendors.

I inquired at a few stalls about a SIM but it took a while to find a solid option. Once that was all done I went back to the hostel to check in and get situated.

Double Six Beach

After I got set up in my cubby bed, I went down to the beach to see what was up. Walking out on the sand was an interesting experience because there was so much trash everywhere. Double Six was the popular spot, but it seemed a bit unremarkable, especially with the huge piles of debris and rubbish.

I decided to go back to the city and find some food and a happy hour special. I got two beers, some tasty dumplings and a good portion of fried rice for under $10. I was starting to get a giddy feeling about the money saving options in Bali. I ended the night on that positive note.

The next day there was more exploring on the docket. I was expanding my search and scouting out some solid sunset watching spots.

I ended up on a different beach and followed it north toward the bigger places in the distance. It was cleaner in the morning which was nice. A mile or two down the way I peeled back inland and walked around the outside of a temple. It looked nice but I was a bit intimidated to go inside because I wasn’t fully up on the customs.

Instead, I worked my way over to the sprawling campus of the W hotel to see what that was all about. I had to go through a security check just to get on the grounds. I felt like I was secretly trespassing into rich people territory.

When I got inside, I was impressed. Surprise, surprise. The place was massive and super nice. There were several levels of comfy seating areas and like 3 different restaurants/cafes within 30ft of each other. The pool set up was really the star attraction though. There were lounge chairs following every contour and well-placed palm trees adding that tropical flair.

I got a smoothie with a W-branded cup and was hoping that would be enough to make it look like I fit in. Within a minute of sitting down on one of the lounge chairs I was asked for my room number. That area was only for hotel guests. Damn.

The good news was only a few feet away was a poolside bar that I could sit at and still get swimming privileges. Bonus. I ordered a bucket of beers and posted up on a couch for the day.

I had a beer, got some sun, took a dip, had a beer, napped, had a beer and chilled hard. I think that was the closest I’ve ever been to living in the lap of luxury. I still felt like barbecue steak Cheetos in a caviar tin, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying it.

By the time I finished my last beer, the sun was getting ready to set and this was the perfect spot to watch. People were showing up in droves, so it actually paid off that I stumbled in early and stuck around. There wasn’t a single seat left anymore.

As sunsets go in Bali, it was kind of mediocre colors-wise, but the atmosphere made it exceptional. My afternoon playing someone with real money was a smashing success.

Status.