I was in Thailand for two weeks and it’s been over two weeks since I’ve written anything about it, so here’s the most comprehensive play by play I can swing.
I took the #9 sleeper train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai to start. It’s a relatively new service, so the train was very clean and comfortable. I traveled 2nd class, which meant an air conditioned car with a bunk and privacy curtain. It made the 13 hour journey a breeze. Almost literally, because I was getting a little chilly from the AC — something that is rarely, if ever, said in this part of the world. There was an older Chinese gentleman that chatted me up in the morning before we arrived.
At 7am, we pulled into Chiang Mai. Since I couldn’t check into my room yet, I did a little bit of exploring. I was staying just outside of the old city — there is legitimately an ancient square perimeter wall delineating the city center.
Even though Chiang Mai is a popular destination in northern Thailand, there weren’t really any skyscrapers or a traditional downtown. On first glance, it was a comfy place. I saw some nice, modern apartments while walking down a few alleys. I quickly had the thought I could live there…without having seen any of the surrounding areas. I suppose it makes sense because I found out later that it’s the digital nomad capital of the world. I believe they’re mostly concentrated in another neighborhood that I ventured through a few days later.
That evening, I settled into my room and chatted with a few other travelers there. Me and Mike, a future digital nomad from Canada, went to a nearby night market that evening to try some stewed pork leg from “The Cowboy Hat Lady,” who has an infamous street food stall, possibly in part to Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown episode (RIP).
In the morning, I woke up early for a half-day visit to an elephant sanctuary that was over an hour drive outside the city. A group of 17 of us got to feed, trek, bathe and swim with 5 elephants, 3 of which were youngish. The place was ethical in that they never forced the elephants to do anything they didn’t want to do. The owner also explained that culturally, riding elephants isn’t really that inhumane (he compared it to a mosquito landing on a human’s arm), but in certain areas, the elephants are being worked 24 hours a day hauling lumber and whatever else. Putting them into a more natural habitat and allowing them to live at will is obviously a better situation though.
It was intimidating at first to be around such large and imposing animals. They wanted every banana immediately. Eventually when we were bathing and swimming with them, it was awesome. I was much less worried about being stepped on even though I couldn’t see where exactly they were under the water.
That evening, Mike and I took a trip to Doi Suthep which is a very prominent Buddhist temple up on a mountain. Our plan was to take some pictures and catch the sunset. Sadly, it was pretty overcast, but the temple had a lot of interesting nooks and crannies. There was also some kind of ceremonial dance going on that we weren’t expecting. A very unique happenstance.
When we got back into town, we ate some delectable Khao Soi, the region’s popular dish, consisting of chicken coconut curry and egg noodles. So rich and savory. I snagged this a few more times at various restaurants before I headed south.
We made the rounds for a while and then submitted to the heat. I made a tattoo appointment and got a massage before retreating inside.
The subsequent day, Mike and I set out to check out some of the temples within the old city. Temples on temples on temples. I don’t think it’s a fair argument to say once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. There are a lot of similarities between the ones that I’ve visited, but there’s also usually something very unique to draw your attention. In Thailand, specifically, there’s always some kind of gold-wrapped structure in the middle that gives a really grand feeling.
That night Mike and I went to the Muay Thai fights at the local stadium. I didn’t feel great about it. There were 6 bouts and for the first 4, the fighters seemed like kids. The betting amongst the locals was an experience to witness. I didn’t risk my own money, but I saw a British guy find success a few times. At the end of the night, two guys/teens got KO’d and one kid maybe broke his arm. There was barely anybody there to spectate too.
For my last full day in Chiang Mai, I wandered around Nimmanhaemin (digital nomad area), ventured into their swanky shopping mall, and got a sak yant tattoo.
I was turned onto the concept by Kaitlin, who I met in Cambodia and toured Angkor Wat with. A sak yant is a magical Buddhist design that is blessed by a monk. There are many different designs with different meanings and required body placements, and there’s a set of rules that accompanies receiving one.
Originally, I wasn’t planning on getting any tattoos abroad, primarily so I could use that money on travel. But the way these tattoos are delivered was something I wouldn’t be able to get at home. Traditionally, a monk would use a bamboo rod and needle to apply the design by hand using a dotting method. This particular shop used stainless steel for sanitary reasons — a call that I appreciated. Apparently so did Angelina Jolie. I found out she got a few done at the same shop.
Anyway, the design I decided on means kindness, compassion, peace and love. The experience wasn’t as formal or ceremonial as I thought it would be but I’m still really happy I did it. The tattooing process was probably about 30 minutes. It felt about the same as a normal tattoo, in my opinion. The most impressive thing was the speed and precision. It’s definitely imperfect since it was done by hand, but that’s part of the charm and authenticity. I initially wanted a different design and placement but I’m stoked on what I received.
Following the fresh ink, I caught an amazing sunset from the hostels rooftop bar and prepared to catch an early flight in the morning.
For some reason, there are no direct flights from Chiang Mai to Phuket, so I spent practically a full day traveling down to one of the islands off the west coast of the country.
I was staying in Patong Beach which I found out was kind of a party town. Bangla Road was a shorter version of Backpacker Street in Saigon — an insane amount of people, bars, performers and vendors all turning out at night to create a crazy spectacle. This time, it included a more noticeable amount of ladyboys.
The hostel I was staying in was nice, but very quiet. Maybe 10 people staying there total. Since it wasn’t quite the social environment I was looking for, I hopped on Tinder to see what I could find. I ended up meeting two different girls the first night and it basically went downhill from there.
One of them took me on an impromptu visit to two popular sights on the island – the Big Buddha and Chalong Temple. Then I treated her to a bbq buffet to repay the kindness. That was an experience because it’s an all-you-can-eat situation that you have to cook at the table yourself. There was varying types of meat in containers everywhere, so I tried not to think about the sanitary standards as best I could.
We returned to Patong and talked on the beach for a while before calling it an evening. It was a really good afternoon/night. Like a silly goose, I rearranged my plans to extend my stay.
There wasn’t much in the immediate area, and I couldn’t spend time in the sun or water because of the new tattoo, so my activity options were limited. It was a consideration I ignored while following a good feeling.
A few days later, after nothing eventful, I did an islands tour so I could at least see some of what I failed to visit. It promised a ton of cool sounding stops and snorkeling, which was an ideal day.
The weather was a let down for the first time since I’d been south. It rained in the morning which made the snorkeling conditions disappointing. After a choppy as hell boat ride that nearly destroyed my balls, we got to Monkey Beach. Except there was no beach so it wasn’t really a stop. Another disappointment. When we arrived on Phi Phi, the sun finally came out. It was the lunch stop though, so there wasn’t really much time to do any sort of island exploring. I was distracted but trying to make friends with some of the younger Americans on the tour. Next we went to “Viking Cave.” There was an old shipwreck inside the cave except we didn’t stop or even really get close to it. Disappointment. After another extended boat ride, we went to Koh Khai Nai. It was a really small island dedicated for beach chilling. It was low season and still got overrun with tourists shortly after we got there. Also, every 6 seconds a vendor approached trying to sell some sort of beer, food or clothing. Overall, I was happy to get out on the water but expected a lot more from the tour. If i hadn’t gotten it for a third of the brochure price thanks to a Tinder match, I might’ve lost my shit.
The sunsets from Patong Beach were really a saving grace. I enjoyed a handful that helped me forget any worries and enjoy the ebbs and flows.
I got a ride to the airport in the morning from another Tinder match. Pretty lucky situation. She was an awesome chick that I will hopefully stay in touch with.
So, after some extreme peaks and valleys on Phuket, I made it to Bangkok. I caught a very convenient bus to my hostel and was open to anything. This hostel was also quiet and I was the only in my room for a while.
I got some Pad Thai off the street and walked around the notorious Khaosan Road area. Another place that really came alive at night.
The next day I was sort of aimlessly exploring some nearby attractions when I was told about a holiday/promotion that meant certain tuk tuk drivers were only charging 10 baht. I hopped in one and was taken around to 3 different sights. I soon found out the catch, which was that I had to spend at least 10 minutes inside a tailor for my driver to get a coupon for gas. I was able to practice my indecision and stalling tactics long enough to make that happen, as uncomfortable as it was. Kind of a weird scam for the tuk tuk drivers to be running, but ok.
Since anytime between 12-6pm is basically unbearable outside, I spent the afternoon in some air conditioning hoping that my body would stop sweating. Side note: I’m down 15lbs again.
That night, I ended up rendezvousing with Davide (Italian I hung out with in Kampot) and Tamara (girl I met on the islands tour) for some beers and a foray into the seedy “adult playground” known as Nana Plaza. As the sex culture is widely on display there, I had to go see first hand what it was about.
It was weird.
Nana Plaza was basically a 3-story shopping center (using shopping quite literally, the girls were wearing numbers) of strips clubs and bars. We found out that you could pay to be with any of the girls you saw at any club. On the way out we were offered a trip to see a ping pong/fuck show, so that’s something. Also, there was a guy that quoted a cheaper price for an evening with a lady of your choosing. Honestly, I would’ve liked to see the pong show just to say I’ve done it. But in reality, I’m sure it would’ve been utterly sad, with maybe a hint of impressive. Fine with it in the end.
The next day, Tamara and I met up to see The Grand Palace (absurdly grand), Wat Pho and China Town. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned that it’s mother effing hot here. The sun was scorching and neither of us really ate breakfast. We somehow made it to 4pm and then were demolished. We found some street food and then parted ways to die slowly in our own accommodations.
Eventually I went to get my first legit Thai massage. It was about $8 for 1hr of pain-adjacent body kneading. I left feeling worse than I came in, which I guess means that my normal is exceptionally wrong. I got a back, shoulder and neck one in the morning thinking it would be more relaxing.
No.
It left me feeling even worse so I don’t know what to think. Maybe just go Swedish all the way.
That pretty much wraps up all of my activities in Thailand. I looked around a few markets and such but nothing too noteworthy. My “In Summary” post will have more analysis on the important stuff so keep an eye out for that.